Narcissistic mom, no contact - family won’t return calls or speak to me
My mom is a narcissistic. A Classic 1 in 100 very toxic and abusive narcissist. I was physically and mentally abused as a child, being forced to live with my grandparents and dad by child protection services at age 8 when my mom broke my jaw and knocked out my 2 front teeth. That was the straw that broke the camels back, but the truth is that’s just the tip of the iceberg when it came to alll I endured. I forgave my mom a lot and went back and forth even after that because I desperately yearned for a mother’s love ( that I never found throughout years of wanting to believe it existed in her)
When I got older some things happened involving my children that forced me to go no contact. I needed to protect them for their physical safety and mental safety. My older brother was the first actually to do this and I then followed 2 years later.
I’m now a year and a half into no contact and I’ve tried to reach out to my grandma, great grandma (who doesn’t have much time left), grandpa, sister, aunts and like they won’t even return my calls or messages. My mom has created a true smear campaign basically saying that I might be hitting them up for money, that I’m a thief and a liar and mentally ill.. I mean wow.
My husband is an attorney and I own my own business. We make almost 400,000 a year between the 2 of our careers. We aren’t hitting them up for money. We aren’t liars… we aren’t thieves.. we are good, hardworking people who are breaking the cycle and protecting our kids.
See, the thing is though my mom has driven these daggers into my family relationships now. And I’ll never be able to speak to them again it seems like unless I go through my mom…. My mom supports them financially too so they are like really stuck on her “teat”..
I guess I’m just wondering how to deal with this reality that my extended family is gone. I’ll never speak to my mom again sadly and I just I’m so sad thinking my mom has painted this picture of me to my family that isn’t true. It pains me to know they think of me this way likely based on what she’s said to them about me with her crazy smear campaigns.
I’m devastated and sad.. I think about my extended family all the time. They refuse to talk to me at all. Messages unreturned, calls, etc. It’s a deep cut. Anyone else go through this? Did the rejection get better eventually ? What happened when they got old and maybe passed away did you feel sad and guilty ? Any coping mechanisms you can share? Would love to hear any other experiences going no contact and losing your family.
<3
When I got older some things happened involving my children that forced me to go no contact. I needed to protect them for their physical safety and mental safety. My older brother was the first actually to do this and I then followed 2 years later.
I’m now a year and a half into no contact and I’ve tried to reach out to my grandma, great grandma (who doesn’t have much time left), grandpa, sister, aunts and like they won’t even return my calls or messages. My mom has created a true smear campaign basically saying that I might be hitting them up for money, that I’m a thief and a liar and mentally ill.. I mean wow.
My husband is an attorney and I own my own business. We make almost 400,000 a year between the 2 of our careers. We aren’t hitting them up for money. We aren’t liars… we aren’t thieves.. we are good, hardworking people who are breaking the cycle and protecting our kids.
See, the thing is though my mom has driven these daggers into my family relationships now. And I’ll never be able to speak to them again it seems like unless I go through my mom…. My mom supports them financially too so they are like really stuck on her “teat”..
I guess I’m just wondering how to deal with this reality that my extended family is gone. I’ll never speak to my mom again sadly and I just I’m so sad thinking my mom has painted this picture of me to my family that isn’t true. It pains me to know they think of me this way likely based on what she’s said to them about me with her crazy smear campaigns.
I’m devastated and sad.. I think about my extended family all the time. They refuse to talk to me at all. Messages unreturned, calls, etc. It’s a deep cut. Anyone else go through this? Did the rejection get better eventually ? What happened when they got old and maybe passed away did you feel sad and guilty ? Any coping mechanisms you can share? Would love to hear any other experiences going no contact and losing your family.
<3
36-40, F
