Working moms with picky husbands and kids.. any of you just give up on cooking meals for your family ?
I met my husband in my mid 20s. There is no doubt about the fact that he is the love of my life. We have 2 beautiful kids and love each other so much so that’s not the issue… but something I wanted to ask was do any of y’all’s significant others have this like looming expectation for you to cook? Have any of you just given up cooking because of well a whole host of reasons like little time, picky eaters, stress etc?
Let me explain. When my husband and I were dating in my early 20s the world was our oyster. A very easy oyster indeed. We had no responsibility and both worked alot and ate out almost every night. During our dating it was like this amazing experience when we would go to the grocery store and pick out crazy things to cook and experiment. It was so much fun. But that’s what it was at the time.. we were playing house!.. I honestly burned almost everything I cooked and he would say don’t worry it’ll get better.. and for a while I found this sort of middle ground when I worked a 9-5 job and had no kids, I didn’t mind trying to cook a few nights a week but during that time my husband really showed me how much he hated easy things like casseroles or sloppy joes.. no soups pastas, rice or crock pot stuff. He literally only wants a vegetable like broccoli and asparagus paired with steak or fish.. he has texture issues and can only eat certain things.
over the years I’ve tried to get creative by freshening things up with a fun salad (which he won’t eat) or a new vegetable prepared with butter or cheese and it’s starting to get boring and repetitive and I’m tired of not being able to enjoy a starch or the other foods I like such as casseroles because they are easy to cook and don’t require a lot of mess..so I’ve gotten to this point where I don’t really care what my husband likes..I’ve started making the casseroles and crock put things but he grimaces every time.. he doesn’t eat it and he pouts and makes an alternative like pizza or whatever…
when we had our second child and I got to at a point where I was and am also trying to build a business.. sometimes I have to work from 7am-7pm and then the kids start getting ready to bed for 8/8:30.. so I’m starting to feel like the last thing on earth I want to do is spend the one little hour of time I do have trying to cook for someone who doesn’t even appreciate it..
I’ve started fixing little dinners for the kids and they are picky too refusing to eat what I make.. I don’t want to feel like a failure but.. I’m giving up on it. And I told my husband that too… I feel really guilty for it but it just doesn’t make sense for me to try to be this like amazing “cooking every night” wife. I can’t do it and I’m tired of trying and I told my husband that I admit defeat and I’ll never be “that wife” who cooks up a storm every night. He kind of just acknowledged it.. we ordered out tonight … should I feel bad for this? For not cooking and forcing my family to eat veggie casseroles and crock pot chicken dishes etc on a regular basis? Should I feel bad for not wanting to continue to cook what my husband likes? Because the truth is I don’t like what he likes either and he’s always trying to get my sign off on it for the night like “is that okay if we eat salmon ton? And I’m like I’m yeah “if you want to cook it!” And I can see the defeat in his eyes like “geeze.. why doesn’t my wife cook what I want for me every night”… I need some advice! Or reassurance or something I feel so terrible about it but I cant see a resolution.
Before anyone says hey why don’t you cook what you like and he cooks what he likes and you blend it together.. like the truth is it sucks for us both to try and cook with the kids. Our kids are little so like it doesn’t work when we both are cooking.. it’s chaotic and stressful. Hopefully it’ll get better when they get older :(
Let me explain. When my husband and I were dating in my early 20s the world was our oyster. A very easy oyster indeed. We had no responsibility and both worked alot and ate out almost every night. During our dating it was like this amazing experience when we would go to the grocery store and pick out crazy things to cook and experiment. It was so much fun. But that’s what it was at the time.. we were playing house!.. I honestly burned almost everything I cooked and he would say don’t worry it’ll get better.. and for a while I found this sort of middle ground when I worked a 9-5 job and had no kids, I didn’t mind trying to cook a few nights a week but during that time my husband really showed me how much he hated easy things like casseroles or sloppy joes.. no soups pastas, rice or crock pot stuff. He literally only wants a vegetable like broccoli and asparagus paired with steak or fish.. he has texture issues and can only eat certain things.
over the years I’ve tried to get creative by freshening things up with a fun salad (which he won’t eat) or a new vegetable prepared with butter or cheese and it’s starting to get boring and repetitive and I’m tired of not being able to enjoy a starch or the other foods I like such as casseroles because they are easy to cook and don’t require a lot of mess..so I’ve gotten to this point where I don’t really care what my husband likes..I’ve started making the casseroles and crock put things but he grimaces every time.. he doesn’t eat it and he pouts and makes an alternative like pizza or whatever…
when we had our second child and I got to at a point where I was and am also trying to build a business.. sometimes I have to work from 7am-7pm and then the kids start getting ready to bed for 8/8:30.. so I’m starting to feel like the last thing on earth I want to do is spend the one little hour of time I do have trying to cook for someone who doesn’t even appreciate it..
I’ve started fixing little dinners for the kids and they are picky too refusing to eat what I make.. I don’t want to feel like a failure but.. I’m giving up on it. And I told my husband that too… I feel really guilty for it but it just doesn’t make sense for me to try to be this like amazing “cooking every night” wife. I can’t do it and I’m tired of trying and I told my husband that I admit defeat and I’ll never be “that wife” who cooks up a storm every night. He kind of just acknowledged it.. we ordered out tonight … should I feel bad for this? For not cooking and forcing my family to eat veggie casseroles and crock pot chicken dishes etc on a regular basis? Should I feel bad for not wanting to continue to cook what my husband likes? Because the truth is I don’t like what he likes either and he’s always trying to get my sign off on it for the night like “is that okay if we eat salmon ton? And I’m like I’m yeah “if you want to cook it!” And I can see the defeat in his eyes like “geeze.. why doesn’t my wife cook what I want for me every night”… I need some advice! Or reassurance or something I feel so terrible about it but I cant see a resolution.
Before anyone says hey why don’t you cook what you like and he cooks what he likes and you blend it together.. like the truth is it sucks for us both to try and cook with the kids. Our kids are little so like it doesn’t work when we both are cooking.. it’s chaotic and stressful. Hopefully it’ll get better when they get older :(
36-40, F
