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Something People Should Just Ignore

No Title
An obscure set of thoughts typened out on Rhyme that I figured I could bury here as I get it off my chest.
Not looking for or really ready to reply to any commentary on it in any way shape or form.

Storms inside now raging
Within this world of wars I'm playing
My soul used for the staging
Between the heart and mind it's waging

Thinking about my feelings
As they all hit their ceilings
Words like cards they're dealing
Just a train run off it's railings

I should have been better
Should have been quicker
Should have known how
Been a little less sicker

Should have somehow
Been a bit more refined
But my wheels are just spinning
As my life just unwinds

I should have been careful
And played it all close to the vest
I should have done better
When doing my best

I should have done something
That could make people see
That I've been trying my best
And that I'm simply Me

I watch all my wishes get wasted
I watch the world passing me bye
I feel like God has but graced it
This life that he gave me; This Lie

I feel like I'm trying
The best that I can
But I know now that I'm not
A worthwhile man

I'm just a plaything
To be put on a shelf
I'm less than a something
That holds no real wealth

I'm lesser than most things
Which are much more important
So I sit here right now
Watching my life getting shortened

It is what it is
And it ain't what it ain't
At times I'm a sinner
Other times I'm a saint

But the world keeps on spinning
Right 'round the sun
And here I sit watching
From the shelf I am on

I guess I understand
As you turn away
I can say that I'm fine
And that I'll be okay

But the truth of the matter
Here on this day
Is that I'm here spiraling
As you get okay

Depressed and dejected
Losing both faith and the hope
Dangling here listlessly
At the end of your rope

Lost all the confidence
Lost inside of the trope
I win at the losing
Because I'm simply a dope.

I wish that my tethers
Were not so constricting
I wish that your love
Was less condradicting

I wish that you loved me
Knowing full well who I am
But instead you just love me
Hoping I Can

I wish who I was
Was enough for you truly
But I can't change fast enough
To be who you see through me

It's a shame and a half
It's a shame wholely fully
But I can't change fast enough
And I say that so truly

So come or just go
I can't make up your mind
I won't ask you to change a thing
Because inside of my mind

You're all I ever wanted
I never asked you to change
I think you're just perfect
And I've never complained

But I've compiled a list
Of all the things that you've said
That you wish I didn't do
Or just did better instead

I showed you that list
And you brushed it aside
Saying that you didn't
Want to tell me what's right

But now months have passed
And you're asking for space
Claiming it's because
Of some words that I've said

Third time in a year
Where you needed a week
Left me abandoned and broken
From the words that you speak

I can't understand
How our future could be
When you need these types of weeks
To find your truer peace

You recently mentioned
That I'm a "Slow Drip of Pain"
Something I've never tried to be
And you refuse to explain

Just give you a week
And we can come back the same
Maybe give it a year
To see if you remember my name

~Tye Snowdog

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