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Disgusting self reflection and hard truths|

How do I still get surprised when words cut so deep? I should have seen it coming.

How can someone who says they love you say such deep cutting things? Same arguement, different day.

Why do I let the same people repeatedly hurt me? Take advantage of my grace and forbearance.

Why can't my boundaries be stronger? My codependency is suffocating me.

Why do I keep leaning to abusers for support? Expecting different results with no change.

Why do I keep giving chances? I let my forgiveness be taken advantage.

I need to do better for myself. I also need to give myself grace on this. This was not my fault. I am enough and I didn't deserve this.
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SW-User
If a little wiser I could have written out those same words. My dad abused me all thoughout my childhood, and others did too. And the one I'm with verbally abuses me, over 8 years must be thousands of times. But no one to blame but myself..