Tired of my dad treating me like i’m still a kid

My dad has essentially BPD and my mother had severe ASD which manifested as a psychotic level of anti-socialness . The ASD was passed on in an even more severe form to my brother. I was fortunately born with all my mental faculties but with a physical issue.

When I was a child, rather than ever challenge the issues caused by my mother or brother, my dad would pretend all the issues were caused by me. My ASD brother couldn't stand taking a single move that might make him lose during a family board game, if he did he'd huff and puff until he was allowed to go again and he'd inevitably always win and then mock the rest of us. When I expressed that this took the fun out the game, my dad told me, me being just 8 at the time "you ruin the family with your attitude".

A lot of crap happened between then and 18. As I got a better understanding of the world in my late early 30s from going to college to study psychology (among other things) things that happened made sense (albeit it in a twisted way).

When I was 14, I started to become self conscious of my physical issue in a really bad way. I asked my dad to send me to some talk therapy thing. He'd insist it was due to a "chemical imbalance" that needed to be sorted before any therapy and had me put on SSRIs that I didn't need. It also turned out he had pushed the health service to give me an ASD diagnosis.

And why did he push those two things that made me infinitely worse? Because being on antidepressant meds and having an ASD diagnosis makes it easier to get put onto my state's welfare system. Him being BPD (or extremely mentally ill at the very least) having a neurotypical in his vicinity was a constant trigger. He also told me as an adult that he never wanted to have children, so already I'm a double trigger. When I was 16/17 I wanted to teach people the piano from my home to start saving money and build a career. This was a trigger for my mum's ASD who couldn't even stand her own family in the house. My dad, who was initially into my idea, immediately changed his mind to placate my mother's ASD.

In response to the difficulties that would cause in starting my life, with the double standards letting my brother do what he wanted making the house a mess too, he had me signed up for welfare and put me into a mental health halfway home with hard drug users and ex convicts that I didn't need to be in. Tiny amount of welfare, impossible to save for anything. I wasn't mentally ill, I hadn't done anything wrong to anyone, I was the person at school that everyone felt comfortable with to ask for help with anything, i was a pianist, studious, and had a suicidal level of empathy. I also have a physical condition that makes the entry level jobs you don't need qualifications for impossible for me to maintain.

These dire circumstances lead to me being enticed to move abroad by a woman who came to control my every move and then starved and beat me and held a knife to my neck when i wouldn't work illegally in her country (she could have done the paperwork to make it legal, but then she'd have less control). Fortunately, my church saved me but when I called my dad he thought it was something to mock me over. My dad let me stay at their house. My ASD brother developed psychosis and one day came into the room I was sleeping in, assaulted me destroying my £650 laptop in the process and hit me in the face so much that my blood was all over the walls. I called the police who asked what my brother had done, my dad took the phone and replied "he hasn't done anything really" so i took the phone back and described my injuries. My dad was just upset about my brother potentially going to prison, not me covered in blood and my destroyed laptop. The police connected me to the emergency services and my dad kept insisting in the background that my injuries were fine. I got a taxi to the hospital, where I was required to have a brain scan and stitches, being told it was lucky I didn't listen to my dad and instead got myself to the hospital.

i eventually become homeless, he kicked me out a few days after getting a stable job, for the very reason that i'd managed to attain a stable job. A friend let me sleep on the floor, my dad called me and I said to him "hurting me isn't going to make you feel better about yourself" and he didn't deny that was his intent, he said "we all deal with our mental health in our own way". I got put into a hostel after that and my dad brought over a load of potatoes, didnt need them at all but as I say - BDP level mental illness and abuse - it's one of those things where they do something for you, they know its completely pointless but then their target is a bad person if they point that out, and they'd want to because of how shitty of a "favour" it is, especially considering the circumstances. One of the men in the hostel was schizophrenic and would barge into my room or into the kitchen when I was there threatening me with violence over the voices in my head. My state support worker told me i should call my dad to stay at his a few nights for my safety, in response to that, i called him and he just said he didn't believe me.

It's now been around nearly two years since then, he hasn't tried to get into contact with me, and i'm currently using state support to fund an online degree and two diplomas. Not too much longer and i'll be starting a master's degree.

Please let this be a warning to any person being intermittently reinforced by a "partner" with ASD or BPD - those fake good times are not worth the hell they will give you and your future children.

What do you do to show thanks and respect?

you could become self sufficient and move out like i did

I'm tired of your dad treating everyone like a kid.

If he fell down the stairs its an accident.
Have you polished your stairs latley? Its good to keep a clean house.

You need to talk to your dad not come here

he should have never been hitting you especially as a kid

I was 13 when I finally fought back. My father left me alone after that. Never spoke to me again but he never spoke to me anyway

Oh