Trauma as a kid

I have some trauma from my childhood that I don’t want to talk about. Both physical trauma and like weird sexual trauma. And I had met my ex who was my fiancé, and we sorted bonded over this. But now that that’s over, I’m feeling weird about it and stuff. I’ve talked to my mom about it a bit but not really gone too much into it (just she notices how I am) which I won’t say.. and she seems like she feels guilt. I can’t remember a lot of my childhood, just bits and pieces that don’t make sense and intense triggers as an adult that confuse me. Again, if I spoke about it, I’d likely offend someone so I won’t. But maybe I need to speak with her to get peace. I can talk about some of it like I know my father was psychically violent and would beat us and our mom. He isn’t the same person now but I’ve always struggled to bond with him. But my mom it’s so much harder for me to understand. And the memories center around a few. I think I just want to understand.