how often do you find yourself with nobody to talk to?

@UndeadPrivateer: can't stand it anymore, I'm either gonna go insane, or just say * it all

@Xeross: All you gotta do is reach out and start talking to people, really. It's not as hard as you'd think. Seems more difficult than it is until you start doing it. Finding people you can relate to is another thing entirely, but just finding a conversation partner isn't hard. And if you converse with enough people about stuff you'll inevitably find someone you can relate with well.

it's not that I think it's hard, its how I was brought up, showing how you feel was weakness to my father..its hard to even talk to people because I've never been able to let anything out. and when I do, people usually get hurt, including myself. not to mention I suffer from depression and schizophrenia. definitely doesn't help

@Xeross: Yeah, I get you. Poor role models can make it all a lot more difficult than it would otherwise even be. And mental illness doesn't help either. I deal with depression and anxiety, and I've known schizophrenics. Not an easy thing to have to live with.

on top of everything swimming in my head, I lost my gf of 10 months because she didn't think I could give her a child...she was pregnant four out of those ten with another child. pre relationship conception...dont wanna talk about what happened.....

@Xeross: Ouch, man, that sucks. I feel you, I've had some real shitty break-ups in the past. Never easy to deal with.

I'm so messed up I spent all but the last two years (besides time in school and the necessities) locked in my room. I've had two gfs my entire life, that's including the one that just left me. it's funny, I finally find someone who actually understands me and I manage to mess it up with my paranoia and lack of free time. I rarely ever saw her, but when I did it was the best time of my life..and I ruined it

@Xeross: It happens, best thing you can do is to learn the lesson and move forward. Best we can all do, really.

the only lesson I can glean from that is to get the next one pregnant as fast as she wants me to and spend less time working to build a future for both of us. and that's not a very good lesson at all.

@Xeross: Indeed, sounds like it might be best to just move on and leave it at that.

if only I could,as I said I'm a messed up individual, ADHD, bipolar,schizophrenia, depression, no social life, a number of friends I can count on one hand, who are so far away I'll never see them again. can't manage to even open up to my own mother,my father, he'd just call me soft and tell me to get over whatever is bothering me. my back is against the wall and I seem to have nowhere to go but down

@Xeross: You can make it, man. You just gotta try. People honestly do make it through far worse. I hope the best for you and that you can really find someone who you can open up to who won't end up treating you like shit. But if nothing else, just try to move forward and don't think badly of yourself just because you're in a shitty situation. That shit's not all your fault, it just happens sometimes.

my hyperactive mind won't let me stop thinking about all the most depressing shit in my life...mainly why I feel like saying to hell with it all

@Xeross: I get you, but you can change the way your mind works with time and devotion. Brains really are malleable things and can be changed with a bit of work. If you consistently and persistently try to think positive as often as you can you will find that positive thoughts will come more freely and easily to you.

I know, it sounds like a bunch of hippy bullshit, but really try it and you will get results. Humans are creatures of habit, we follow established patterns. You can always purposefully form new ones.

I get what you are saying, my mind is stuck in the bad because I've always dealt with it alone so the bad parts of my life have been the predominate things on my mind pretty much my entire life

@Xeross: Yeah, it's a deeply ingrained mental pattern. I was in a similar boat in the past. But you can change it. That said, it's not going to be an easy thing and it's not going to happen quickly. It takes time and perseverance. Perseverance is the key.

I have the patience of a mouse locked in a pantry full of cheese

@Xeross: Patience and perseverance are separate though interconnected things. And you can always improve.

I have perseverance, otherwise I would have given up long ago, patience is on virtue I do not have a lick of. nor sense if you ask my parents

@Xeross: Eh, fuck them. You're your own person and you are under no one's power but your own. Make the best of what you've got and don't let other people's opinions shape who you are. Especially when they're shitty opinions such as that.

my own opinions are why I feel this way, I've beaten and torn myself emotionally over my lifetime because of how I was raised. I've heard my parents say things about the way some people are, me being the same, things like they are worthless, the only good one is a dead one, things like that...and all I could do is sit there and think..they must feel that way about me too. they have no idea I'm the same way, yet they are saying these things...

@Xeross: Yeah, fuck their opinions. I've straight up been told to my face by one of my parents that I'm worthless, so I get the feeling.