My sister is having trouble finding a career job related to her majors, she is frustrated with me, and my dynamic within my family

She went to university for criminal justice and psychology bachelors degrees and has been looking for over a year to find a decent job related to her career field. She recently got turned down from the sheriffs department she wanted to work at and has been applying for all types of criminal justice jobs from probation to paralegal work to the attorney generals office. She has either been turned down or not heard back from the agencies she applied for. She is very depressed. She easily found a job in TN as state department of homeland security when she graduated college but the position made her miserable mostly work from home for ten hour shifts and one or two office days. and she got stalked and raped back in TN. She came back home. She spent all her time at university for nothing she feels like and got herself into debt for nothing.my parents are helping her pay back student loans just like they are helping me. She makes money by working at a cafe. She found more opportunities in providence Rhode Island and Boston MA but the.jobs don’t pay enough to move there so she is in a bind. They pay less than what she made in TN which was about $55,000-$56,000 before taxes. And she still had to be frugal with her spending there because even though the state of TN does not take state income taxes, she still had to pay federal income taxes and rent was moderately expensive though not quite as bad as up here. A one bedroom apartment was maybe $1,200-$1,300 close to Nashville TN. And just other expenses like groceries, utilities, electronics, etc. streaming services you name it the take home pay was significantly less than $55,000 dollars. And this was in a moderately priced suburb close to Nashville Tennessee. She had her car to pay for and sometimes needed extra money from our parents to help with stuff she couldn’t afford like therapy and medical expenses. Her job did provide health insurance but did not cover things 100%. So even in relatively affordable Tennessee, she still had to be careful. Never mind Massachusetts in which the cost of living is much higher. She is also frustrated with me and says I do nothing to improve my life or help myself even with all the supports I have. She also said this household with me and my parents and the dynamic is not normal or healthy. She thinks I imprison this family. For example, my parents can’t take trips until my grandparents come back or one parent has to stay behind with me because I will not be up and running to come on the trips with them because I get up in the middle of the afternoon. She said they have no minor children. In the house anymore. And I can’t stay home alone without being checked in on because I don’t know how to cook for myself and because I have no transportation to get myself around. Someone needs to be around to give me rides and look in on me. When my parents had to go to TN to pack up my sisters belongings and bring her home, I stayed with my uncle and aunt in law for three days at their house. That way someone was around and I would get fed. I had to take my meds with me too. My aunt in law would wake me up in the middle to late morning to take my medications. Also if my parents move long distance they are taking me with them because they are not leaving me alone without someone nearby for support. Back to my sister, since she struggles with her own mental health struggles she tries to avoid dealing with me sometimes because seeing me waste my life away and stagnating. Brings her down. She worries she will be stuck living at home when she is 30 and nothing good will come for her. She said I could move out and she could take my room that was bigger. I said I don’t think I am going to move out of my parents house before I’m 40. She said oh no she could not take another six years of living like this and being stuck between our parents and me clashing. And just the general dysfunction. About my clothing and not wanting to properly groom myself for example. ( I let my hair get tangled in knots without meaning to for weeks to months and I haven’t shaved or taken off my coarse thick leg hair in two years. My dad tried to pull strings to get a paper pushing job in the wrentham court system that all you need is a high school diploma for as like a clerk assistant for a probation department but my sister was not interested in commuting 35-40 minutes for a job that barely paid enough and had nothing to do with actual criminal justice roles. I feel bad for her. She worked so hard to go to school and apply for so many different career jobs. Life has been rough for her. She says I do nothing to improve my life like finishing my proofreading and editing courses. She and my parents think I don’t have much of a life. My sister was like doodling and reading books and just my hobbles was what I do with my time and nothing else. I haven’t drawn or painted in a while but I hardly consider my sketches and illustrations doodling. Most recently I just spend my time reading, knitting while listening to audiobooks, and writing in my journal and diaries. I have not done creative writing in a long time. Also I learn languages sometimes . And watch movies although it’s been a few weeks since I watched a film or tv series. She said hobbies are great for a day off and when you aren’t working or studying. She thinks I can work part time and doesn’t think it’s fair that she struggles too but tries her best to motivate herself through it and still functions as best as possible while I do nothing. She tried applying for unemployment benefits but was denied. She also said she hates her job but the alternative of just sitting around at home doing nothing would make her feel even worse and she needs the money though my parents help her pay for some things. She thinks I use my mental
Illness as a crutch at times. Personally, besides finding career choices that fit me and give me flexible remote work, I don’t care that I’m unemployed. I gave up looking for decent work a long time ago aside from the vocational courses I have taken that would give me good jobs if I pass the final exams or make a portfolio of web based projects. I even went through my office of vocational rehabilitation.and nothing came out of that. They don’t specialize in flexible employment. And some of the companies they partner with are placing you in minimum wage jobs that are not professional level jobs. Burlington coat factory, tjmaxx, cvs pharmacy.. I told Irene that those were retail jobs and I had no interest in retail jobs. My vocational counseler Joseph took forever to get back to me to go over my career assessments I took through people incorporated. I waited for many months before I heard a call from him and I was so angry I didn’t answer his phone call and voicemail. I’m on disability and though I feel conflicted and sometimes cringe that I am
On disability, it’s better than working a minimum wage crap job that treats its people like slaves. I will never work another customer service or retail job ever again. I have no desire to work on holidays and I would rather not work on weekends. If I trained for a career like translation, transcription, writing/blogging, proofreading:editing or something else I would rather just work 4-5 days a week five to six hours a day on a part time basis and have two to three days off for hobbies/passions and taking care of life. I could work on a flexible basis for 20-30 hours per week at most. I have no desire to work more than full time. Also my parents care way too much about how I keep my room. My mom comes into my room and opens the window and lets the cold air in and puts on the fan in my room and opens the door to let the air conditioning come in. Today was a freezing 65 degrees high for the day on September 1. My mom always tells me if I don’t like being annoyed by her coming into my room I have the option to move out. I have the department of mental health and I can find other accommodations. What a control freak. My parents care too much about how I keep my room and how I dress being too warmly dressed and bundled up. My sister cares too much how I dress too. It’s frustrating. I get so aggravated when we clash. Some people would just say then move out well I can’t afford to move out for a while until I get more cash. I will need to pick up part time work and the wait list for low income housing can take years. My mom also likes to yank my head wrap of my head which pisses me off. Why can’t my parents leave me alone on certain things? And my sister really thinks though I need assistance, I could be doing more with my life. My parents think I could be doing more with my life in terms of hobbies taking a fun class to get me out of the house and socialization and getting. Up early. They also told me if I couldn’t handle living on my own with supports and be able to take care of myself in the future like in assisted living or supported independent living , they would have to put me in a higher level of care like a residential care home or group home. Yikes I don’t want that! I could even do shared living where I live with a supportive housemate who acts like a live in companion and gets a stipend to help take care of me. But I have to have the discipline and motivation to care for myself. I don’t want to be forced into going into a day program and live with a bunch of rigid rules and schedules which restrict my autonomy, freedom, and independence. I don’t want to be supervised by agency staff all day and have my movements restricted. I don’t want to have to all go out together with the other prisoners I mean clients and that’s the only time I can leave unless I’m signed out by a family member or something to spend time with them. I don’t want to be told when to wake up, get ready for the day, when to eat, when I must leave the “homelike environment”, be forced into a day program, have curfews and be told when it’s time to go to bed etc. enforced quiet hours, what a nightmare that would be!!! Staff restricting when I can use my phone and not even being able to go for a walk alone. Oh no my parents wouldn’t dare put me in a group home no way would I agree to that!!!