how can you learn to 'hold your own' in society when you've never really done that before
i was brought up in a loving household and never really developed this ability properly in real life, i was quiet and not very self confident in my youth, i suffered abuse unfortunately, which contributed to my mental problems...i went on to develop a personality disorder and severe anger problems......long ago i used to have aggressive outbursts in public places towards people....it was just a severe impulse i used to get...as a result of those outbursts, i was violently attacked many times in public, in front of lots of people watching.....violently attacked by other males and men, i was humiliated by this...and it caused me trauma too.
anyhow that's the past, i'm 48 now, been indoors for months due to high anxiety going out....i'm due to get support workers starting soon, to help me get out of my flat a couple of times a week..
my main goal at this juncture is to get some self confidence, be self-assured around people and just not be intimidated and so fearful of other people, and to hold my own if i needed too.....not get panicked & unnerved easily like i have done in past times..
but, i've never learned any fighting arts, self defense strategies and i have no desire to do so, have no desire to join any clubs or groups like that......i've not been swimming in a year, so are not in shape and i'm unfit right now....but still desire to be able to hold my own if i needed to, against someone dubious...if that situation arose.......but overall, not be afraid, be self confident, be assertive - which i also struggle with in real life..
and i wonder, how will i do what i intend, when i'm not that physically strong at the moment, never learned fighting or self defense methods and deal with psychological problems with ptsd anxiety and self confidence issues?
i somehow just want to prevail and be strong and resolute in the face of other people in society, and i feel frustrated at times, that i struggle to achieve that, because of the problems i try to deal with.
anyhow that's the past, i'm 48 now, been indoors for months due to high anxiety going out....i'm due to get support workers starting soon, to help me get out of my flat a couple of times a week..
my main goal at this juncture is to get some self confidence, be self-assured around people and just not be intimidated and so fearful of other people, and to hold my own if i needed too.....not get panicked & unnerved easily like i have done in past times..
but, i've never learned any fighting arts, self defense strategies and i have no desire to do so, have no desire to join any clubs or groups like that......i've not been swimming in a year, so are not in shape and i'm unfit right now....but still desire to be able to hold my own if i needed to, against someone dubious...if that situation arose.......but overall, not be afraid, be self confident, be assertive - which i also struggle with in real life..
and i wonder, how will i do what i intend, when i'm not that physically strong at the moment, never learned fighting or self defense methods and deal with psychological problems with ptsd anxiety and self confidence issues?
i somehow just want to prevail and be strong and resolute in the face of other people in society, and i feel frustrated at times, that i struggle to achieve that, because of the problems i try to deal with.
46-50, M
