So I planned for my son to go to his first pantomime
For his first birthday I planned for him to go to the pantomime, I booked the tickets around mid November. As some of you are aware my partner and I have been separated for reasons I don't care to share.
He had him on Xmas and will again new year's.
Originally it was just meant to be my mother and I with him on his birthday then go for a meal.
He didn't want to miss it so he asked if he could come along. I asked my mum first and she said fine so I sat as the middle person between them.
On the way there my mum suggested we get a cab as the time was approaching. 1.30pm the show starts at 2pm. I asked her to arrive at mine for 12pm, that way she could help me get my son ready too and the pram down the stairs so I wasn't rushing. She turned up at 12.37pm.
Before leaving she asked me if we should get a cab, but I said no because we didn't have a car seat for my son. "Oh I keep forgetting..."
We managed to get there and all seemed fine.
When we were there she tried to be the silence filler
Why I don't know. It's the first time we've all been out together so it was normal to feel awkward and I was happy to accept it for what it is.
Anyways we enjoyed the show, but i noticed despite being sat right next to my mum she couldn't hear me.
When I went for a walk around the theatre during the interval I went to the loo, then came back and asked if either of them wanted anything from the bar.
When we came in my mum asked if I wanted a hot chocolate and I said no, due to my cold. Im trying to steer clear of milk.
She suggested a hot chocolate, so I asked was there anything else like pringles? And she said no not for me the hot chocolate was for you... So I repeated I don't want a hot chocolate.
Why was me asking her if she wants something now about me?
She agrees to the pringles, he says no.
The show ends and he's walking our son. When we get to the lift we all try to fit in, but my mum steps out suggesting the lady behind with a pram and young child squeeze in.
Logistically it wasn't going to work. So the woman tells me mum to squeeze in.
When she gets in I say to her, where was the pram going to go. So she says I'm bigger than the pram... (Clearly she's not as the doors shut. So was she supposed to put the pram in and walk up with the child 🤔.
We are walking back and I start taking things out of my bag for our son for my ex to take him home with him. As we walk up the road she asks me "are we looking for somewhere to eat?" I respond "no".
As we continue to walk, and approach the station my ex asks first if we were going to continue walking up. So I say yes. (His reasoning probably thinking we may get the bus from the stop, he and I used to go to, when heading back to mine).
Anyways we walk them up and my mum asks again. What are we doing? So I said were going to x restaurant. She said oh ok how are we getting there? So I say "umm train!?"
She snaps saying "why did you say it like that, I don't know what we're doing?" So I said well how would you like to get there? So she repeats the question and I repeat mine.
She gets annoyed and says "well you can go by yourself!"
I'm pissed off because what started out as a decent day ended with us not doing what I had planned to celebrate my son's first birthday.
I say goodbye to my son and his dad and head off towards the bus stop to go home.
My mum follows along and I ask her why do you always do this?
So she says why do you always talk to me like a piece of sh*t?
I explained that I don't understand why she never know what's going on?
We had planned to go to the panto then to eat afterwards, yet she was the one changing the plans and asking if we were looking to eat somewhere else.
So she said she didn't know what the plans were and felt to ask.
So I turned to her and asked why didn't you ask me this earlier? I thought you would understand when I was separating things that he wasn't coming with us.
I didn't know.
I said as always. It's like you never listen or notice anything.
So she pipes up about Xmas and how no matter what she does it's not good enough.
So I said well I'm tired too. It doesn't matter what I say how I say it how I reframe it you still don't listen to me.
Then you moan about my tone and my attitude but who wants to be a parrot.
"You're cooking in my home and I've asked you not to scrape my ceramic pans with a metal spoon, it's not the first time but you still do it then when I say something you get upset and say you feel watched and anxious."
She highlights what I said recently " no you said, this may be what you do in your home but if prefer if you use the plastic or wooden utensils as they don't damage the pan."
So I agreed. I wasn't going to deny it it was exactly as I said it.
So she said I talk to her like my dog. So I said what do you want me to do?
This isn't the first time, so I said it like that because maybe it might stick. How many other ways can I say it now?
But you still won't acknowledge that you don't listen to me and it doesn't matter what it is that I say.
I have keep on repeating myself. And I'm tired. As frustrating as it is for you can you imagine how annoying it is for me?
So I said to my mum that the CBT counselling she is having isn't working. And this is something I mentioned before we have a major communication problem, but she won't address it. Because I should just accept whatever simply because she is helping me, or doesn't have bad intentions.
She also said I enjoy making her look small. How? Why do I need to keep thinking about how I speak to her when she is not going to listen to me anyways.
She just stopped talking to me, took out her phone so I walked to the bus stop and took the first bus that came along to get away.
I decided that in 2026 I would see less of her. Because I've concluded that no matter what we will continue to encounter issues. I'm direct she's not and thinks she answering whilst giving me a run down of her thoughts. So why I ask again she will say didn't I answer the question which feels like gaslighting (even if indirect) but it's tiring.
I feel like some cyber hacker trying to crack some code.
It's draining. Yes it's nice to say I have family but she's draining.
And being like this with her is draining.
We are two very different people and it's better to see less of each other not more.
I feel like I'm an insufferable person tbh. With everything that's gone on. And I'm not looking for sympathy.
I honestly just don't know how to deal with all of this.
He had him on Xmas and will again new year's.
Originally it was just meant to be my mother and I with him on his birthday then go for a meal.
He didn't want to miss it so he asked if he could come along. I asked my mum first and she said fine so I sat as the middle person between them.
On the way there my mum suggested we get a cab as the time was approaching. 1.30pm the show starts at 2pm. I asked her to arrive at mine for 12pm, that way she could help me get my son ready too and the pram down the stairs so I wasn't rushing. She turned up at 12.37pm.
Before leaving she asked me if we should get a cab, but I said no because we didn't have a car seat for my son. "Oh I keep forgetting..."
We managed to get there and all seemed fine.
When we were there she tried to be the silence filler
Why I don't know. It's the first time we've all been out together so it was normal to feel awkward and I was happy to accept it for what it is.
Anyways we enjoyed the show, but i noticed despite being sat right next to my mum she couldn't hear me.
When I went for a walk around the theatre during the interval I went to the loo, then came back and asked if either of them wanted anything from the bar.
When we came in my mum asked if I wanted a hot chocolate and I said no, due to my cold. Im trying to steer clear of milk.
She suggested a hot chocolate, so I asked was there anything else like pringles? And she said no not for me the hot chocolate was for you... So I repeated I don't want a hot chocolate.
Why was me asking her if she wants something now about me?
She agrees to the pringles, he says no.
The show ends and he's walking our son. When we get to the lift we all try to fit in, but my mum steps out suggesting the lady behind with a pram and young child squeeze in.
Logistically it wasn't going to work. So the woman tells me mum to squeeze in.
When she gets in I say to her, where was the pram going to go. So she says I'm bigger than the pram... (Clearly she's not as the doors shut. So was she supposed to put the pram in and walk up with the child 🤔.
We are walking back and I start taking things out of my bag for our son for my ex to take him home with him. As we walk up the road she asks me "are we looking for somewhere to eat?" I respond "no".
As we continue to walk, and approach the station my ex asks first if we were going to continue walking up. So I say yes. (His reasoning probably thinking we may get the bus from the stop, he and I used to go to, when heading back to mine).
Anyways we walk them up and my mum asks again. What are we doing? So I said were going to x restaurant. She said oh ok how are we getting there? So I say "umm train!?"
She snaps saying "why did you say it like that, I don't know what we're doing?" So I said well how would you like to get there? So she repeats the question and I repeat mine.
She gets annoyed and says "well you can go by yourself!"
I'm pissed off because what started out as a decent day ended with us not doing what I had planned to celebrate my son's first birthday.
I say goodbye to my son and his dad and head off towards the bus stop to go home.
My mum follows along and I ask her why do you always do this?
So she says why do you always talk to me like a piece of sh*t?
I explained that I don't understand why she never know what's going on?
We had planned to go to the panto then to eat afterwards, yet she was the one changing the plans and asking if we were looking to eat somewhere else.
So she said she didn't know what the plans were and felt to ask.
So I turned to her and asked why didn't you ask me this earlier? I thought you would understand when I was separating things that he wasn't coming with us.
I didn't know.
I said as always. It's like you never listen or notice anything.
So she pipes up about Xmas and how no matter what she does it's not good enough.
So I said well I'm tired too. It doesn't matter what I say how I say it how I reframe it you still don't listen to me.
Then you moan about my tone and my attitude but who wants to be a parrot.
"You're cooking in my home and I've asked you not to scrape my ceramic pans with a metal spoon, it's not the first time but you still do it then when I say something you get upset and say you feel watched and anxious."
She highlights what I said recently " no you said, this may be what you do in your home but if prefer if you use the plastic or wooden utensils as they don't damage the pan."
So I agreed. I wasn't going to deny it it was exactly as I said it.
So she said I talk to her like my dog. So I said what do you want me to do?
This isn't the first time, so I said it like that because maybe it might stick. How many other ways can I say it now?
But you still won't acknowledge that you don't listen to me and it doesn't matter what it is that I say.
I have keep on repeating myself. And I'm tired. As frustrating as it is for you can you imagine how annoying it is for me?
So I said to my mum that the CBT counselling she is having isn't working. And this is something I mentioned before we have a major communication problem, but she won't address it. Because I should just accept whatever simply because she is helping me, or doesn't have bad intentions.
She also said I enjoy making her look small. How? Why do I need to keep thinking about how I speak to her when she is not going to listen to me anyways.
She just stopped talking to me, took out her phone so I walked to the bus stop and took the first bus that came along to get away.
I decided that in 2026 I would see less of her. Because I've concluded that no matter what we will continue to encounter issues. I'm direct she's not and thinks she answering whilst giving me a run down of her thoughts. So why I ask again she will say didn't I answer the question which feels like gaslighting (even if indirect) but it's tiring.
I feel like some cyber hacker trying to crack some code.
It's draining. Yes it's nice to say I have family but she's draining.
And being like this with her is draining.
We are two very different people and it's better to see less of each other not more.
I feel like I'm an insufferable person tbh. With everything that's gone on. And I'm not looking for sympathy.
I honestly just don't know how to deal with all of this.
31-35, F
