You’ve just won $1 Billion! What are you definitely NOT going to do?

@FloorGenAdm
If you've been sleeping alone up to this point in your life, winning $1 Billion isn't going to change any of that, so don't get your hopes up. It's not about the money, it's all about YOU!

@SandWitch Can I still have the billion anyway?

@FloorGenAdm
Sure you can! But don't waste any of it buying condoms.

@SandWitch But the condoms I have now expired in 2012.

@FloorGenAdm
Since they usually have a 5 year shelf life, that would mean you bought them with high hopes around 2007 ...and one would presume from what you've said about your sex life hence "sleeping alone", that the box is still sealed just as it came from the condom factory.

Have you ever seen a condom after it's 'best-before' shelf life has expired?

Can we talk about something else besides old @zz condoms...

@FloorGenAdm
What's the matter? Don't you talk about condoms in your American culture?

@SandWitch Mostly in private...ya know?

@FloorGenAdm
In private? Why? Why are condoms considered to be a 'privacy issue' in American culture where they are only ever spoken about behind closed doors?