Have you ever been in a situation when you're offered something you want on a silver platter, but it doesn't feel right so you refused?

My aunt offered to take us to a local trip for next year.

The first time she did something like that, it was for the whole fam. She wanted to cheer us up when we lost dad I think. So they sponsored an out of the country trip. It was our first time riding on a plane.

It was fun. I enjoyed it. And it crossed an item in mom's bucketlist. I wanted to give that to her. I am glad to be there with her.

But I didn't like the feeling of someone spending on us like that. I still don't. I guess I got used to having dad and mom do those things for us. I know my aunt and uncle love us in their own way and I'm grateful, really, but ... I felt bad afterwards because it didn't feel right to have agreed they spend so much on us.

They spent money on tree people and I really, really want to repay them one day and pay for a trip for their whole fam too one day. By God's grace, that day will come and we could do more for them. But for now, I am a work in progress.

And now they're making another generous offer. I can't repay them yet with the money I have now. And also, I know they might probably not want me to think like this...but I can't help it.

I was raised to treasure giving so much more than receiving.
I just...I want to go. I do. They invited and meant to treat our other relatives too. But while a local trip is less expensive than an out of the country trip and while I know they can afford it, it'll add to the list of things I'd feel I have to repay to them if I accept and I...

Am I wrong? I already refused. I don't have plans to take it back.
But...I just want to clear my head. Because I have things I need to do, responsibilities I have, and I'm feeling pressured but trusting God so I know I'll be okay in the end.

But at this moment, I just wonder if I'm handling this healthily...keeping all these to myself.

ABCDEF7 · M Best Comment

There was a time when I was in same dilemma, even my mother was. I used to think that I should only be giving, helping out people. Accepting something for which I have not done(worked) something was not acceptable to my self esteem.

What I perceived is that we give out of two reasons, one is due to our generosity and other for our love for others. Mostly when I know someone, love takes precedence over generosity. But what I saw that when the receiver perceives it as your generosity, they hesitate to accept any help.

When you expect others to accept what you want to give, similarly you should be ready to accept others offerings. First for the reason because they are offering you for their love for you, secondly because this will give them happiness & satisfaction when you accept. It's about giving them happiness by accepting their love and care for you.

Of course you should return back when you have and you can. But remember you should not be returning the favor or obligation, but you should be returning the love.