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i hate to say this but i don't want to live anymore ;(

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Do you know why you feel this way?
I get that.
I feel this way, sometimes overwhelmingly so, sometimes only mildly...
It will pass.
This always passes.
Life moves on and changes a little bit here and there.
Find something to take up all the extra space in your mind. A project that makes you think. Do something that makes you feel valuable, good about you. Just something that makes you smile.
It can be work, but you've got to try to get your mind somewhere else.