My partners adult daughter in her 30s is always trying to come between me an her Dad. We got engaged recently and she would look at my engagement ring

Its like a silent tug of war but she always acts so innocent to her Dad. When I try to explain her actions to my partner I'm met with aggression and acusations that I dont like his daughter. She has done many things in the past that are too many to mention. Her Dad is Italian and worships her. I feel the relationship is doomed as I dont attend family events anymore and she also turned my partners daughter in law against me but ill never find out what she said. Exhausted trying to figure out all this. Im not even sure if my partner genuinely loves me. I think he loves me when alls going well for him. Thoughts🤔 can this survive? His ex wife I think is in it to. So much jealousy!!😩

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ThePerfectUsername · 70-79, M

I reckon your best option is to try and get through to his daughter yourself. Telling you partner what she's doing can only drive a wedge between you that I'm sure you'd rather wasn't there. If she's at all insecure she could be motivated by fear of losing her dad to you rather than plain jealousy, and if that's the case one of your better options might even be to deliberately present her with opportunities to spend extra time with him. There's no age limit to still needing to know that your dad loves you more than anyone else in the whole world.

Ciaotutti · F

@ThePerfectUsername yes true. He spends days with her and family and today I didnt go to his grandaughters birthday party so theres no tension as shes been texting and posting digs at me on FB. I totalky get she loves her Dad and I did everything to be nice to her but it doesnt work. I know shes a liar my neice worked beside her at one time and said she was nasty. The ex wife is in the middle of it all to. They do things to manipulate him and make him feel guilty.

ThePerfectUsername · 70-79, M

I've just read the other recent replies and your replies to them and it does seem like you've got a very tough nut to crack. It all really pivots on the way your partner sees things. Without his understanding support and/or intervention I can't really think of what else to suggest. Family loyalties have a huge role to play but adults really shouldn't be totally blind to a new partner's worries about family friction. @Ciaotutti

Ciaotutti · F

@ThePerfectUsername I like your answer its how I feel. Thanks also for taking the time to read and understand some of what its been like. Even though ive not expressed a lot thats gone on. I just want him to acknowledge his daughter has a problem with me but he swtiches it. He rwalky didnt want me to go to his granddaughters birthday today. I know I must seem para to some people on here but thats my situation in his life. X

ThePerfectUsername · 70-79, M

Judging solely on what I've read here I think the way you feel is perfectly justified. I do worry a little that you might give up hope when a little more perseverance might just win the day, but when all's said and done it's your life not mine and only you can decide whether you're out of options or not. Good luck, and please keep us posted. @Ciaotutti

Ciaotutti · F

@ThePerfectUsername aww thank you I will keep you posted. We are going to his appartment soon in Rome its business/ holiday type trip. I think I will have a better idea how I am going to deal with things after that.