First I push everyone away, then I get lonely.

For me, it's being on a big ship at sea. It takes a long time to stop, and a long time to speed up. If I feel crowded, I keep pushing people away, more than I need to. Eventually, it ends up in loneliness. Then I start speeding up and re-engaging and that also goes further than I mean it to. I think I have it worked out at the moment and just enough people in my life.