Can you pinpoint the creation of your loneliness?
The loss of the comforts of a protector. The crumbling of trust. The cruelty of abuse. A fading bond.
41-45, M
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CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
It had several nuances throughout my life.
Growing up with an older brother taught me the differences between girls and boys and I felt the absence of another girl my age. Most boys were too aggressive to my taste and my brother was the only companion I had as a little child and then during summer breaks unless a cousin came for a week or so. She rarely visited.
Getting separated from my first group of friends because of changing schools taught me I actually can be alone and can entertain myself on my own while surrounded by other people. It was painful to feel like an outcast at 7-8 but hey, you learn you can survive this.
Puberty kicking my head way too soon and making me craving stuff I was way too young for taught me to substitute the real thing with fantasy, limerence and daydreams. That inevitably lead to unrealistic wants and desires where reality seemed too dull and boring way too many times.
Being rejected by people I considered as my friends because of "odd interests" taught me that my own interests are of higher priority than social bonding or peer pressure of any kind.
And finally, getting used to social media like a global village where I can talk to anybody in any corner of the world if we meet in digital space sort of made me forget that we still physically live in different environments with different threats. And hence I was taught the feeling of loneliness where people who live in places that are flourishing and safe can't grasp sudden instability, fear of war, fear of one's future. That might actually apply to pandemic as well. Something healthcare workers had to feel when they listened to people talking how lockdowns were a sort of a paid vacation to them etc.
Jesus sorry, I talk too much. 😅🙈😬
Growing up with an older brother taught me the differences between girls and boys and I felt the absence of another girl my age. Most boys were too aggressive to my taste and my brother was the only companion I had as a little child and then during summer breaks unless a cousin came for a week or so. She rarely visited.
Getting separated from my first group of friends because of changing schools taught me I actually can be alone and can entertain myself on my own while surrounded by other people. It was painful to feel like an outcast at 7-8 but hey, you learn you can survive this.
Puberty kicking my head way too soon and making me craving stuff I was way too young for taught me to substitute the real thing with fantasy, limerence and daydreams. That inevitably lead to unrealistic wants and desires where reality seemed too dull and boring way too many times.
Being rejected by people I considered as my friends because of "odd interests" taught me that my own interests are of higher priority than social bonding or peer pressure of any kind.
And finally, getting used to social media like a global village where I can talk to anybody in any corner of the world if we meet in digital space sort of made me forget that we still physically live in different environments with different threats. And hence I was taught the feeling of loneliness where people who live in places that are flourishing and safe can't grasp sudden instability, fear of war, fear of one's future. That might actually apply to pandemic as well. Something healthcare workers had to feel when they listened to people talking how lockdowns were a sort of a paid vacation to them etc.
Jesus sorry, I talk too much. 😅🙈😬
SpectralMourning · 41-45, M
@CrazyMusicLover Talking was the goal here. Thanks for opening up. I hope you’re finding your way.