I’m officially done trying to make friends

I’ve been trying to make my own friends since having our first in 2021. I guess I didn’t really have friends before that cause I moved to hubbys hometown 800 miles away from my own in 2016 and the “friends” I did have before kids were his friends that I met through him. He has a couple close friends/acquaintances currently but I’m still left with none.

We had a big fight last night and he told me the one friend, who’s a female and has been his friend for 20+ years, that I’ve been wanting to be friends with for the longest time doesn’t hang out with me because all I do is complain (she’s not wrong but I have nobody to talk to EVER) and tbh that stung hard. She hangs out when I’m not around and makes sure to leave before I get home from work, which I guess makes sense now that I know what I know. Like I suck to be around so much people actively avoid being around me so I deleted all the apps I had trying to make friends because it’s pointless. I’m a person who has to meet someone in person to feel a connection and keep up a relationship so trying to find friends online is pointless

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HootyTheNightOwl

We had a big fight last night and he told me the one friend

Have you considered that he could be manipulating you???

Isolation is a tactic that many abusers will use to enable their abuse - because you have no one to talk to or turn to for help should you decide that you've had enough and you want out.

It can often be one of the earliest signs of abuse and hardest to spot because it can be played like in your example - or it can be hidden under a "caring" approach.

Either way, it's not for me to tell you whether to make friends or keep some of your old friends around... but I would really stop and look hard at his behaviour and ask yourself what you would do if this does turn out to be an abusive relationship. You're 800 miles away from home and family, abuse seldom takes just one form (he might take control of the household funds - because "You never go anywhere) and you have no friends who can help you.

Just think very carefully if you really want to put yourself in a position where you come to see that abuse is happening and you can't get out because your body is too weak to walk long distances and you don't have anyone close enough to help you in a hurry.