What is it with companionship/loneliness?

Was sitting there at the diner having brunch and sort of feeling alone in the world, which I am not, and wondering why I felt there? Been going to the same place for 20 years, first with my late wife and then for 10 years with my late partner. And except in the getting-to-know-you courtship period, they were largely silent meals as I am not much of a small-talker and we didn't have much more in life or our relationships to talk endlessly about. So the only real difference between then and now was the other side of the booth was occupied.

Not as bad as going out to dinner alone. "Table for one" is the last thing the restaurant wants to hear, and it seems to scream "loser" to the rafters. If I wasn't on these meds and could drink yes you could seat me at the bar where there might be some light camaraderie and socializing but I don't particularly care to have all those forbidden bottles of joy juice staring at me.

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hunkalove · 61-69, M

Sad. I would be like that too but I don't eat in restaurants or pubs. Can't afford it.

dancingtongue · 80-89, M

@hunkalove Same at home, but the reason it struck me as odd is that the ostensible reason for going out to eat is a change of pace, more of a social setting. But then it occurred to me that sitting there alone in a public place doesn't change much, and then I asked myself how much was that different when my partners and I sat there eating together and not saying much because there wasn't much new to talk about. (Cue Peggy Lee singing "Is That All There Is?")

hunkalove · 61-69, M

@dancingtongue Not familiar with that one but I just listened to it on YouTube and I can see why. But I reckon it's better, under the circumstances, than "How Much Is That Doggie in the Window."

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