Do you ever wish you could just disappear without a trace, and not having anyone know about it?
I wish I could just disappear.
I don't want to kill myself because I don't want to put that suffering on my friends and family. I wish I could kind of just ... fade from existence. Like everyone would peacefully forget that I even existed and I could just disappear into thin air. I just feel so emotionally and physically drained by my depression and suicidal ideation, and every moment I'm home I have to pretend like I'm mentally healthy because I no longer feel safe around my parents. In death I could finally stop having to work so damn hard to function normally while incredibly depressed, and I could just rest. I want that rest so badly. Been getting that feeling quite a bit lately. Nothing suicidal or anything like that, never have even come close to considering it. Just simply disappearing and never have existed. I know it’s common for INTPs to get the feeling of “what’s the point?” This is something I’ve felt wholeheartedly recently. A big reason for this has been my realization of how weird and ridiculous that religious beliefs are. I was raised Christian but knowing everything I do about how the Bible was written, other similar religions, and the many other questions no one has answers for, it’s led me to losing any sort of faith or “belief.” The losing of faith has be a long and slow process, but once realizing it, it’s really put that question into my head of “what’s the point?” Everyday I feel lost, stuck in my head, not wanting to really talk to people other than people I’m close to, questioning existence in general, anxiety, long stints of self loathing, wondering if I’m even good enough, problems with dating. I don’t know, that’s just a lot of the stuff that’s been on a loop in my mind for a while now.
Anyone else ever thought/felt this way? I wish I could disappear without anyone knowing
I wish I could kill myself already, I'm tired of existing, I've lost all my friends because of one person, please someone just shoot me. I wish I would just disappear and no one would notice I'm gone
I wish I would get erased that there's no trace of me left in the world. If there's a god, please, erase my existence, like, no one would remember such a person existed in this world.
I don't want to commit suicide and bring shame to my family and to anyone who cared about me. I just want to disappear without making anyone's life miserable. Living is terrifying and the thought of committing suicide is even more terrifying. I'm totally clueless about how to deal with the world. I the person I am. I can't find any good qualities about myself. I pushed away the love of my life because I thought she would be happier if I wasn't there. I feel like a burden to everyone. I tried to get her to hate me by yelling at her and cursing at her which I regret, so if I do disappear one day, she won't miss me. I just don't want to cause her anymore pain because she still loves me, but not as much anymore. I still love her so much, and I don't think I can ever move on. I have this constant pain on my heart, and it won't go away. I can't forget about the memories I had. I told her today that we couldn't continue to be friends because of all this pain in my heart. I told her everything, apologized and thanked her. I feel so lonely and empty. I don't have anyone left. I want to disappear. I could OD on pills, I could hang myself. I just can't get myself to do it. I fantasize all the time on ways to kill myself, but it's so hard. Everything is so painful. I can't forget. These memories won't go away. Everything reminds me of her. I tried everything. Talking to other girls, working out, hanging out with friends. Nothing helps. I've gone to a therapist, I've taken medicine. I'm still the same, and everything feels worse and worse every day. How can I forget and just try to live? My whole life, I have never experienced true happiness until I met her. It was love at first sight, and we've been together for a year. It's been a week since I yelled at her and broke everything apart. I have constant anxiety attacks and I avoid social contact when I'm experiencing an event, but I couldn't stop myself. She showed me what true happiness was. I miss that so much. I miss that feeling that nothing can go wrong. I can't find that happiness, no matter how hard I try. How can anything come close to that happiness? I miss it so fucking much. You matter. You are loved. You are a valuable part of your life. Don't give up just now. Reach out to those that love you. Be honest with your therapist. We are all trying to find our purpose. We are all trying to figure out our life. Maybe you don't want to die but you are ready for a change. Making changes is hard. Commit to one day at a time. You can do this. You are stronger than you think. I literally have no interest in life. I tried so hard this year to turn things around. I was just kidding myself I guess. Nothing will ever change. This is what life will be until the day I die. I'm tired of it all. Just straight vanish. I don’t know if I really want anyone to remember I was even here. Like, I wish I’d never existed at all and that no one even had a memory that I had. I feel alone and worthless. I don’t do anything with my hands anymore, and not like anyone would like my mediocre bullshit art. It really feels like I have the Midas touch for crap. Everything I touch turns to shit, turns worthless like me. I could disappear off the face of the earth right now and no one would know.
I desire to live simply. Right now I feel like I’m in a weird spot where all of my friendships are just façades. Graduating from a small school, I never really fit in. I feel like once I move from the metropolis I want to go ghost from everyone I know. I don’t feel like anyone really understands me nor supports me on a deep level besides my brother and some family. I desire to be around more mature people who I feel like I can actually relate to, instead of ... kids. I’m only 20. I desire more deep and meaningful interactions with REAL people. Not these weird fakes in LA or previous relationships. I feel like I have not a single soul to talk about deep ideas or the things I’m interested in because people love to judge and not even take in ideas that are different than theirs. I don’t even have crazy ideas. Im just someone who’s peeled back the bullshit of this crazy reality we live in right now... and these other people are currently going through their journeys but I just feel like I can’t relate to them and I feel like I don’t want to deal with their petty relationship dramas all the time. Especially when I’m never listened to. So at this point, instead of just dropping everyone slowly, I just kind of want to disappear. Find new people who I actually resonate with. Maybe because I feel stuck to my past and I want to get away from old ideals. Has anyone any experience with this? Or something similar, so I don’t feel so... lonely? Or feel like maybe not? Because at this point I really don’t see the reason to hang on to these things when I don’t feel satisfied. What is something that could disappear from the face of the Earth today that you wouldn't notice until someone pointed it out?
Do you ever feel the sudden urge to just...disappear?
And no I'm not talking about wanting to die. I wanna live but just...as far away as possible from the people I know and love. To be in my own void without the constant anxiety and fear of not being enough. This is the kind of bliss I strive for in life. Nothing is wrong with my life really, I am just longing for something different. I’m 24, have a house, a respectable job, good significant other, and I want to drop it all and run away and completely reinvent myself. I don’t really know what the point of this post is I guess. Tell me some happy stories. Has anyone ever dropped everything to start anew and afresh? Title says it all. I feel like no one would notice if I just disappeared from the face of the earth. No one ever asks "Hey what's OPThrowawayaccount up to today?" or "Where is OPthrowawayaccount?" No one ever bothers to check in on me and see how I'm doing. I never get texts, phone calls, or anything from anyone. Most of the time I'm sitting in the far back corner of the class room, not making any noise because no one wants to see, hear, or be around me.
I would go talk to my parents, but I don't trust them. They always ask me "Whats on your mind?" and all that stuff, and I just don't trust them. I've only blown up once in front of them, saying that I feel like everything I ever do is just a big waste of time, because sooner or later everything goes to hell. But yet, everyone always comments about how damn happy I always am, and I always respond with the same thing. I’ve given it a lot of thoughts, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I want to disappear to work on myself. I’ve burned too many bridges, and I can’t seem to do anything right. I’m broke asf, and I feel useless to anyone around me. I know what I want, but idk how to get there. However I know that disappearing might help. My plan is to ghost everyone and just go my own way, without my family, friends or anyone to know about it. I’m ready to shock everyone. On this journey im about to go on, I’ll need some advice. I’ll take any advice possible. Thank you! Do you ever wish you could just disappear from the face of the Earth and never be seen again?
I don't want to kill myself because I don't want to put that suffering on my friends and family. I wish I could kind of just ... fade from existence. Like everyone would peacefully forget that I even existed and I could just disappear into thin air. I just feel so emotionally and physically drained by my depression and suicidal ideation, and every moment I'm home I have to pretend like I'm mentally healthy because I no longer feel safe around my parents. In death I could finally stop having to work so damn hard to function normally while incredibly depressed, and I could just rest. I want that rest so badly. Been getting that feeling quite a bit lately. Nothing suicidal or anything like that, never have even come close to considering it. Just simply disappearing and never have existed. I know it’s common for INTPs to get the feeling of “what’s the point?” This is something I’ve felt wholeheartedly recently. A big reason for this has been my realization of how weird and ridiculous that religious beliefs are. I was raised Christian but knowing everything I do about how the Bible was written, other similar religions, and the many other questions no one has answers for, it’s led me to losing any sort of faith or “belief.” The losing of faith has be a long and slow process, but once realizing it, it’s really put that question into my head of “what’s the point?” Everyday I feel lost, stuck in my head, not wanting to really talk to people other than people I’m close to, questioning existence in general, anxiety, long stints of self loathing, wondering if I’m even good enough, problems with dating. I don’t know, that’s just a lot of the stuff that’s been on a loop in my mind for a while now.
Anyone else ever thought/felt this way? I wish I could disappear without anyone knowing
I wish I could kill myself already, I'm tired of existing, I've lost all my friends because of one person, please someone just shoot me. I wish I would just disappear and no one would notice I'm gone
I wish I would get erased that there's no trace of me left in the world. If there's a god, please, erase my existence, like, no one would remember such a person existed in this world.
I don't want to commit suicide and bring shame to my family and to anyone who cared about me. I just want to disappear without making anyone's life miserable. Living is terrifying and the thought of committing suicide is even more terrifying. I'm totally clueless about how to deal with the world. I the person I am. I can't find any good qualities about myself. I pushed away the love of my life because I thought she would be happier if I wasn't there. I feel like a burden to everyone. I tried to get her to hate me by yelling at her and cursing at her which I regret, so if I do disappear one day, she won't miss me. I just don't want to cause her anymore pain because she still loves me, but not as much anymore. I still love her so much, and I don't think I can ever move on. I have this constant pain on my heart, and it won't go away. I can't forget about the memories I had. I told her today that we couldn't continue to be friends because of all this pain in my heart. I told her everything, apologized and thanked her. I feel so lonely and empty. I don't have anyone left. I want to disappear. I could OD on pills, I could hang myself. I just can't get myself to do it. I fantasize all the time on ways to kill myself, but it's so hard. Everything is so painful. I can't forget. These memories won't go away. Everything reminds me of her. I tried everything. Talking to other girls, working out, hanging out with friends. Nothing helps. I've gone to a therapist, I've taken medicine. I'm still the same, and everything feels worse and worse every day. How can I forget and just try to live? My whole life, I have never experienced true happiness until I met her. It was love at first sight, and we've been together for a year. It's been a week since I yelled at her and broke everything apart. I have constant anxiety attacks and I avoid social contact when I'm experiencing an event, but I couldn't stop myself. She showed me what true happiness was. I miss that so much. I miss that feeling that nothing can go wrong. I can't find that happiness, no matter how hard I try. How can anything come close to that happiness? I miss it so fucking much. You matter. You are loved. You are a valuable part of your life. Don't give up just now. Reach out to those that love you. Be honest with your therapist. We are all trying to find our purpose. We are all trying to figure out our life. Maybe you don't want to die but you are ready for a change. Making changes is hard. Commit to one day at a time. You can do this. You are stronger than you think. I literally have no interest in life. I tried so hard this year to turn things around. I was just kidding myself I guess. Nothing will ever change. This is what life will be until the day I die. I'm tired of it all. Just straight vanish. I don’t know if I really want anyone to remember I was even here. Like, I wish I’d never existed at all and that no one even had a memory that I had. I feel alone and worthless. I don’t do anything with my hands anymore, and not like anyone would like my mediocre bullshit art. It really feels like I have the Midas touch for crap. Everything I touch turns to shit, turns worthless like me. I could disappear off the face of the earth right now and no one would know.
I desire to live simply. Right now I feel like I’m in a weird spot where all of my friendships are just façades. Graduating from a small school, I never really fit in. I feel like once I move from the metropolis I want to go ghost from everyone I know. I don’t feel like anyone really understands me nor supports me on a deep level besides my brother and some family. I desire to be around more mature people who I feel like I can actually relate to, instead of ... kids. I’m only 20. I desire more deep and meaningful interactions with REAL people. Not these weird fakes in LA or previous relationships. I feel like I have not a single soul to talk about deep ideas or the things I’m interested in because people love to judge and not even take in ideas that are different than theirs. I don’t even have crazy ideas. Im just someone who’s peeled back the bullshit of this crazy reality we live in right now... and these other people are currently going through their journeys but I just feel like I can’t relate to them and I feel like I don’t want to deal with their petty relationship dramas all the time. Especially when I’m never listened to. So at this point, instead of just dropping everyone slowly, I just kind of want to disappear. Find new people who I actually resonate with. Maybe because I feel stuck to my past and I want to get away from old ideals. Has anyone any experience with this? Or something similar, so I don’t feel so... lonely? Or feel like maybe not? Because at this point I really don’t see the reason to hang on to these things when I don’t feel satisfied. What is something that could disappear from the face of the Earth today that you wouldn't notice until someone pointed it out?
Do you ever feel the sudden urge to just...disappear?
And no I'm not talking about wanting to die. I wanna live but just...as far away as possible from the people I know and love. To be in my own void without the constant anxiety and fear of not being enough. This is the kind of bliss I strive for in life. Nothing is wrong with my life really, I am just longing for something different. I’m 24, have a house, a respectable job, good significant other, and I want to drop it all and run away and completely reinvent myself. I don’t really know what the point of this post is I guess. Tell me some happy stories. Has anyone ever dropped everything to start anew and afresh? Title says it all. I feel like no one would notice if I just disappeared from the face of the earth. No one ever asks "Hey what's OPThrowawayaccount up to today?" or "Where is OPthrowawayaccount?" No one ever bothers to check in on me and see how I'm doing. I never get texts, phone calls, or anything from anyone. Most of the time I'm sitting in the far back corner of the class room, not making any noise because no one wants to see, hear, or be around me.
I would go talk to my parents, but I don't trust them. They always ask me "Whats on your mind?" and all that stuff, and I just don't trust them. I've only blown up once in front of them, saying that I feel like everything I ever do is just a big waste of time, because sooner or later everything goes to hell. But yet, everyone always comments about how damn happy I always am, and I always respond with the same thing. I’ve given it a lot of thoughts, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I want to disappear to work on myself. I’ve burned too many bridges, and I can’t seem to do anything right. I’m broke asf, and I feel useless to anyone around me. I know what I want, but idk how to get there. However I know that disappearing might help. My plan is to ghost everyone and just go my own way, without my family, friends or anyone to know about it. I’m ready to shock everyone. On this journey im about to go on, I’ll need some advice. I’ll take any advice possible. Thank you! Do you ever wish you could just disappear from the face of the Earth and never be seen again?
