Ideally, how often would you want to spend time with your partner if you're in a serious relationship?
How much quality time do you spend with your live-in partner, particularly if you both work from home?
I’m curious about how your practices look around this - when you and a partner both work from home, do you overlap much during the day? How do you reconnect when your workdays are over? What does it look like for you to take the space you each need while getting the connection you each need? Would you prefer quality or quantity when it comes to time spent with your partner? What is the reason for your choice?
Would you prefer to see your partner lots but the dynamic between you be relatively low energy/attention? (For example just sharing each other’s space without really focusing on one another) or would you prefer seeing them occasionally but the energy/attention is relatively high? (So more of the time spent with each other is focused on one another). What is the reason for your choice? I recently started seeing a girl a month ago. We've gone on 5 dates, and she seems to be really into me. We've been having a lot of fun and have good chemistry, however there just seems to be something missing that I can't put my finger on. I don't have a whole lot of dating experience (only two <2 months relationships before her), but I've had crushes on girls, and I've had girls that I couldn't wait to see again. I don't currently feel that way about her. Don't get me wrong, I do look forward to our dates and spending time together, but there's not that unquenchable desire like there has been with others in the past. I'm worried about this because this was one of the reasons the last girl I dated broke up with me (she was pretty upfront about it, which I appreciated).
Been together 3 years, living together for 2. We used to do a lot of fun things together like video games, board/card games, watching movies and shows, cooking together, and more. We had personal time as well, so it's not like we did everything together.
But lately he won't do anything with me. This started before "everything" btw, so its not the lockdown or anything causing this. We go weeks without doing ANYTHING together. If I bring up doing something, he just says "god we spend ALL day together, what more do you want". I say I want a little quality time, but he just repeats that we spend so much time together already. Which... I don't consider simply living together to be quality time. Sure I love being in the same room doing our own thing, but thats all we do anymore. Oftentimes he's not even in the same room with me anymore, he spends his time outside.
He regularly talks to friends and family and does his own thing/goes outside, which I never complain about. I don't want either of us to be dependent. But things like eating dinner together- we maybe do that once a week and thats only if I ask if he wants to eat with me since its been a while. He won't suggest we do anything. Recently, I didn't ask him to do anything with me for 3 weeks, just to see if he would ask. He didn't. I finally asked after 3 weeks if he wanted to watch a movie with me and he first said "you ALWAYS ask me this" and then asked what movie, kind of angrily. I gave 6 titles that I thought would be fun to watch and he said no to all of them. I said I'm open to suggestions and he says "nah. don't feel like it. watch it yourself"
I get that sometimes people need space, which I'm fine with! We've been upfront with each other before "hey I need some personal space" and no problem because the other person takes no offense. I like doing things alone.. But this has been going on for so many months. I'm lonely. I miss my boyfriend. I eat alone, I play games alone, sometimes I even sleep alone because he just passes out on the couch. I'm been called a pretty happy-go-lucky person before but this is seriously dragging me down and affecting my mental health, I feel empty inside. I feel like he's just checked out of this relationship, but I guess I just need a second opinion. I've made sure to not be overbearing, or whine about it, but I'm really just done at this point. I don't know how to get through to him that I feel like just a roommate right now and I want to do something fun with him like we used to. Everything used to be so good. My boyfriend wont do anything fun with me anymore. He complains that I even ask him to do things because he thinks living together is quality time together.
To those of you who are crazy about their SOs, was it like that way from the beginning or did it take some time to develop? My boyfriend and I are at odds with one another. He doesn't seem to make time for me but always does with his friends. If we go out together we kind of end up talking to our friends, not really with each other. I don't want him to myself 24/7 but we both work (I'm at work at 6:30 am and get home around 5 and still do work, he works normally till 5 or so and has work to do at home too). We break from work at home to eat and watch tv, then sometimes go back to work or our respective hobbies and don't really interact with each other because we just need to relax. The problem comes when/if we go out. I'll suggest something but he is too tired, if a friend suggests to go out then he is excited to go. I understanding needing time to see friends etc, I feel the same way but I just don't think we always act like a couple, more of roommates. Just wondering how much quality time, not just watching tv etc, you spend with your SO.
I’m curious about how your practices look around this - when you and a partner both work from home, do you overlap much during the day? How do you reconnect when your workdays are over? What does it look like for you to take the space you each need while getting the connection you each need? Would you prefer quality or quantity when it comes to time spent with your partner? What is the reason for your choice?
Would you prefer to see your partner lots but the dynamic between you be relatively low energy/attention? (For example just sharing each other’s space without really focusing on one another) or would you prefer seeing them occasionally but the energy/attention is relatively high? (So more of the time spent with each other is focused on one another). What is the reason for your choice? I recently started seeing a girl a month ago. We've gone on 5 dates, and she seems to be really into me. We've been having a lot of fun and have good chemistry, however there just seems to be something missing that I can't put my finger on. I don't have a whole lot of dating experience (only two <2 months relationships before her), but I've had crushes on girls, and I've had girls that I couldn't wait to see again. I don't currently feel that way about her. Don't get me wrong, I do look forward to our dates and spending time together, but there's not that unquenchable desire like there has been with others in the past. I'm worried about this because this was one of the reasons the last girl I dated broke up with me (she was pretty upfront about it, which I appreciated).
Been together 3 years, living together for 2. We used to do a lot of fun things together like video games, board/card games, watching movies and shows, cooking together, and more. We had personal time as well, so it's not like we did everything together.
But lately he won't do anything with me. This started before "everything" btw, so its not the lockdown or anything causing this. We go weeks without doing ANYTHING together. If I bring up doing something, he just says "god we spend ALL day together, what more do you want". I say I want a little quality time, but he just repeats that we spend so much time together already. Which... I don't consider simply living together to be quality time. Sure I love being in the same room doing our own thing, but thats all we do anymore. Oftentimes he's not even in the same room with me anymore, he spends his time outside.
He regularly talks to friends and family and does his own thing/goes outside, which I never complain about. I don't want either of us to be dependent. But things like eating dinner together- we maybe do that once a week and thats only if I ask if he wants to eat with me since its been a while. He won't suggest we do anything. Recently, I didn't ask him to do anything with me for 3 weeks, just to see if he would ask. He didn't. I finally asked after 3 weeks if he wanted to watch a movie with me and he first said "you ALWAYS ask me this" and then asked what movie, kind of angrily. I gave 6 titles that I thought would be fun to watch and he said no to all of them. I said I'm open to suggestions and he says "nah. don't feel like it. watch it yourself"
I get that sometimes people need space, which I'm fine with! We've been upfront with each other before "hey I need some personal space" and no problem because the other person takes no offense. I like doing things alone.. But this has been going on for so many months. I'm lonely. I miss my boyfriend. I eat alone, I play games alone, sometimes I even sleep alone because he just passes out on the couch. I'm been called a pretty happy-go-lucky person before but this is seriously dragging me down and affecting my mental health, I feel empty inside. I feel like he's just checked out of this relationship, but I guess I just need a second opinion. I've made sure to not be overbearing, or whine about it, but I'm really just done at this point. I don't know how to get through to him that I feel like just a roommate right now and I want to do something fun with him like we used to. Everything used to be so good. My boyfriend wont do anything fun with me anymore. He complains that I even ask him to do things because he thinks living together is quality time together.
To those of you who are crazy about their SOs, was it like that way from the beginning or did it take some time to develop? My boyfriend and I are at odds with one another. He doesn't seem to make time for me but always does with his friends. If we go out together we kind of end up talking to our friends, not really with each other. I don't want him to myself 24/7 but we both work (I'm at work at 6:30 am and get home around 5 and still do work, he works normally till 5 or so and has work to do at home too). We break from work at home to eat and watch tv, then sometimes go back to work or our respective hobbies and don't really interact with each other because we just need to relax. The problem comes when/if we go out. I'll suggest something but he is too tired, if a friend suggests to go out then he is excited to go. I understanding needing time to see friends etc, I feel the same way but I just don't think we always act like a couple, more of roommates. Just wondering how much quality time, not just watching tv etc, you spend with your SO.
