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Unsatisfiedstace · 51-55, F
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Tvxhed · 41-45, M
@Unsatisfiedstace: also quitting and being sober is good for anyone with healthy brain chemistry. I believe my brain chemistry is normal or will return to normal after a short period of time.
It is a benefit but many of my advances have actually been earned while I have been under heavy use. It's actually when I work the hardest and most consistently - when I have the extra energy and drive (it's not fun getting sick!) and that's been during times of use and/extreme happiness. Unfortunately happiness hasn't been nearly as abundant as the other option.
People like me more when I use. I'm friendlier and more outgoing and people are easier to approach.
Since I have quit I have become a hermit. I have not dated in years because i feel so disconnected from others. I wanted to please my parents but they won't be happy unless I'm rich and make a family. I am getting older and I want to start living for myself but I don't really know how to WANT for myself and feel I will benefit from working towards those goals. Student loans really took the wind out of my sails. I did graduate but the credit issues created overwhelm the value of the bachelors degree created by so much it's difficult to see a way through.
If I could dedicate myself to a task, like improving and working for another loved one - I could feel like the suffering had purpose. But currently the only purpose I can seem to manage is, well, essentially isn't all bachelorhood selfishness?
I guess I just wasn't raised to be a single guy. I don't know how to feel I deserve things so badly that I will reward those that I feel take advantage of the youth. (Student loan corporations - look up "student loan backed securities" if you disagree with me...)
Anyway enough babbling. I need to quit though and I'll be glad when it's done. However if I could buy it at rite-aid I would likely be focusing on building my life and ignoring the 14mg a day issue instead of vice-versa.
It is a benefit but many of my advances have actually been earned while I have been under heavy use. It's actually when I work the hardest and most consistently - when I have the extra energy and drive (it's not fun getting sick!) and that's been during times of use and/extreme happiness. Unfortunately happiness hasn't been nearly as abundant as the other option.
People like me more when I use. I'm friendlier and more outgoing and people are easier to approach.
Since I have quit I have become a hermit. I have not dated in years because i feel so disconnected from others. I wanted to please my parents but they won't be happy unless I'm rich and make a family. I am getting older and I want to start living for myself but I don't really know how to WANT for myself and feel I will benefit from working towards those goals. Student loans really took the wind out of my sails. I did graduate but the credit issues created overwhelm the value of the bachelors degree created by so much it's difficult to see a way through.
If I could dedicate myself to a task, like improving and working for another loved one - I could feel like the suffering had purpose. But currently the only purpose I can seem to manage is, well, essentially isn't all bachelorhood selfishness?
I guess I just wasn't raised to be a single guy. I don't know how to feel I deserve things so badly that I will reward those that I feel take advantage of the youth. (Student loan corporations - look up "student loan backed securities" if you disagree with me...)
Anyway enough babbling. I need to quit though and I'll be glad when it's done. However if I could buy it at rite-aid I would likely be focusing on building my life and ignoring the 14mg a day issue instead of vice-versa.
Unsatisfiedstace · 51-55, F
@Tvxhed: I'll be interested to see how you do during your journey.
Be well.
Be well.
SW-User
Please bear with me, I'm not english
as I comment on your post
I get the feeling :
you 'd like life to reward you for shaping up
you like a challenge
maybe even a role model
to be in a strong group feeling you're going places
somewhere you lost a "partner in crime"
and you cannot get going again
you're stuck
you seek support
but realize
the next step must come from you
you hesitate
your crutch is gone
setting reasonable goals to reach
is a good place to start
taking the first step
towards your reward
I wish you well
as I comment on your post
I get the feeling :
you 'd like life to reward you for shaping up
you like a challenge
maybe even a role model
to be in a strong group feeling you're going places
somewhere you lost a "partner in crime"
and you cannot get going again
you're stuck
you seek support
but realize
the next step must come from you
you hesitate
your crutch is gone
setting reasonable goals to reach
is a good place to start
taking the first step
towards your reward
I wish you well
Tvxhed · 41-45, M
@JustImagine: thanks - you are right on some points, and mistaken on some others... But not a crazy post... I do believe I'm looking for something to dedicate my efforts towards, not really a crutch - more of an obligation. I am finding it difficult to see value in the obligations that are offered as options currently.
Tvxhed · 41-45, M
@JustImagine: I do need to set goals... Right now I feel the only goals present have been set for me by society; and until I achieve those, I am unable to seek the goals that I desire.
This makes me feel troubled.
I supposed even married people truly are still alone. Perhaps it's best this way - maybe it's more honest to live a solitary life.
This makes me feel troubled.
I supposed even married people truly are still alone. Perhaps it's best this way - maybe it's more honest to live a solitary life.
dannys925 · 26-30, M
Understand some of what you're saying, even with 20 y/o friends already gone to violence, drugs, or bad judgement.
Dude, it's never too late to start. I'm just starting out and have a house, wife, and two kids, working a job, s putting money aside for the future. You just gotta get out and do it. Get on it, man. The only time you can ever control is the right now, always be doing something with it, you can sit down when another 35 years has gone by.
Dude, it's never too late to start. I'm just starting out and have a house, wife, and two kids, working a job, s putting money aside for the future. You just gotta get out and do it. Get on it, man. The only time you can ever control is the right now, always be doing something with it, you can sit down when another 35 years has gone by.
dannys925 · 26-30, M
Lol, I guess I'm a lucky narcissist then, cause she entrapped me, but it's been a sweet ride--twins in the crib, another due in September. I had nothing when she grabbed me, everything I have now are things I worked for, but I recognize I wouldn't have much without her family's connections. Sorry for your situation, and wish you better fortune in the future.
@Tvxhed:
@Tvxhed:
Tvxhed · 41-45, M
@dannys925: I reread my post and I just want to make sure you didn't think I called you a narcissist. I labeled myself as a potential one, but I was not trying to be insulting.
Also if I could have a wife and kids, I would choose that - so I don't look down on getting a girl pregnant after HS.
I just wanted to be sure I hadn't been misinterpreted.
Have a great weekend with the kids!
Also if I could have a wife and kids, I would choose that - so I don't look down on getting a girl pregnant after HS.
I just wanted to be sure I hadn't been misinterpreted.
Have a great weekend with the kids!
dannys925 · 26-30, M
No offense was ever taken, man. I'm just poking fun at myself. Yes, we will have a good time, life is good here. Hope you find good fortune as well.