By now I have learned some very important life lessons. Now I'm about to drop some truth bombs.

First and foremost, don't stick your dick in crazy (and for the ladies: don't let crazy stick it's dick in you.) Likewise, don't stick the pen in the company ink. Both of these rules have to do with your money and maintaining your way of life. Crazy is like a leach on your money and happiness. You need to make your paper and then let that paper work for you. Before you go making any life altering decisions, ask yourself "is it really worth it to bust this nut?" Another rule of thumb to live by: If it floats, flies, or fucks it's cheaper to rent it. Boats are holes in the water that you throw money into. Planes are holes in the sky you throw money into. And whores well you get the idea.

The 2nd thing is that life is not a competition. Just because everyone else is doing, buying, or saying it doesn't mean you do. So what if your friend has a nice ass car. Does your car get you where you need to be? Ok then. Also, you look good in those same five shirts and 2 pairs of paints. Go ahead and let the haters hate. One thing you need to remember is who pays your bills. If someone would like to have an opinion on your life, ask them which bill they would like to take care of this month.

Something else you people need to learn is to just chill out and let some shit that doesn't matter go. Two major phrases can help you in this if you learn them. "Kiss my ass" and "fuck it". Kiss my ass is a beautiful phrase to say when someone has one of those pesky unsolicited opinions about you and your life. "Fuck it" is a much more versatile phrase. This can be used when you've had just about enough of the bullshit, when you're about to ignore the first rule and stick your dick somewhere it doesn't belong, or when you simply choose not to stress anymore. That's what makes life so amazing. "Fuck it, the sun will come out tomorrow." This life is for you to be happy not please other motherfuckers or put up with some bullshit on the daily.

Finally, you might have noticed, I talk about money a lot. Well I like money and it can help you in many ways, but here today I just want to talk about this one hint. If you live in America, you can always follow the trail of money and it will always lead you to the bullshit. Also, when there is a breaking news story, pay attention to what else is going on. I guarantee you there is something else going on they don't want you to pay attention to. Now you are enlightened, but probably not because society is decaying and none of you morons has the attention span to read or write something "this long". 🙄