On a serious note...

Should I put myself back out there? Part of me is wishing for a genuine connection. But the rest of me, since the major incidents that've happened, I am comfortable in solitude. Idk if I'm better off alone because I'm just so use to it and I'm also just fiercely independent. Although, I feel like clinging to isolation is just symptom of said events (in previous posts) that perhaps I'm not doing myself any favors. Looking at it from a different perspective, I should push myself past the anxiety and trauma, but on the other am I just too damaged to even bother? Idk. I ask because I had dreamt recently I was hanging out with a random SO, and felt loved but woke with an understanding it's another goodbye to a life I'm not capable of having. Otherwise, I just suppress the thought and remain occupied to the passion of my work.

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Ontheroad · M

I don't think, and this is just my opinion, you should push yourself right now. Not until you heal more and get the help you need.

Right now, when you are trying to heal is not the time to risk your mental/emotional self.

RedGrizzly · 26-30, F

@Ontheroad nah you're right. I think I was just entertaining the thought, and just pondered on it. I definitely won't do anything until I do get help because it wouldn't be fair to anyone if I don't. Lol idk it crossed my mind a couple of times lately so I decided to reflect.

Ontheroad · M

@RedGrizzly Right now, I think, is the time for a solid friendship connection... nothing more and even that needs to have clear boundaries if the friendship is with a male.

LadyGrace ·

@Ontheroad I wish I could find that type relationship in the real world, not online. Someone I could just feel comfortable with, who would just be a really great friend to me, in my vicinity.

Ontheroad · M

@LadyGrace Yep, and the older we get, the harder that becomes. I often wonder if the problem is me. If I don't have such high expectations that I make that impossible.

LadyGrace ·

@Ontheroad I don't think you're the problem and I don't think I'm the problem, either. It's easy to question that in oneself, but there's nothing wrong with knowing what you want and need, instead of settling. We won't do that, and that's important. We love ourselves enough not to do that. We weren't meant to be people pleasers, either. However, you are right. The older we get, the harder it becomes. Sometimes I think people can be too picky, as in wanting perfection and everything to be just right and I don't think there is such a person, but we should still stick to our standards. It's really not too much to ask, for someone to just treat you as they would want to be treated, and be good to you. I could never be friends with a person who is controlling or fault-finding. My husband passed away in 2005 and I have yet to find that type person. I'm happy in myself and it's not like I'm looking every day for someone to fulfill me, because I'm not. I don't believe in that, but it would be nice if someone kind and considerate would come along.