I Have Questions For The Universe

Dear Universe:
I have a few questions for you. If you have a moment in your busy schedule I would really appreciate a few answers:
1. Where do those lost socks go?
2.Why does my printer always break when I am in a huge hurry?
3.Why do Facebook people from High School think I will like them now?
4.How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
5.Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
6.If e evolved from monkey……Why do we still have monkeys?
7.Are crosses ineffective on Jewish vampires?
8.What is a picture of one thousand words worth?
9.Why the heck does the Easter Bunny carry eggs around? Rabbits don’t lay eggs.
10.Some coffins have a lifetime warranty. Whose lifetime? Does anyone actually ever work in the returns department?
11.Why is it called partly cloudy instead of partly sunny? Who hired this guy?
12.If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
13.At a movie theater, how the F do you know which arm rest is yours?
Please HMU on text or social media.
Thanks Universe.
Patrick