Feeling alone today.

People tell me I don't reach out, so I did. I told four people about my biopsy today, and not one fucking person has said good luck. I hope it doesn't hurt too bad. I hope they're gentle. Nothing.

It's my breasts again. I'm scared. I couldn't sleep. I tried vulnerability once more. They harp on me like it's my fault they aren't there for me, so I tried and now I remember, I stopped reaching out because nobody shows up. Nobody.

I just needed my real buddies here today. To say something. To exist. To feel real.