Lost and feeling abandoned

To be honest when I joined I wasn't sure what my purpose of was for this account .. I'm also not very sure how confident I can be in expressing that I know I need help . Asking for help has always been a sign of weakness to me I've always believed that if I couldn't cut it on my own mentally I have no purpose in this life, that I've lost the game of chess as I call it .. Im alone and I feel myself walking deeper and deeper into the dark. I'm afraid that I have no way back. I don't understand where and when in life I went wrong with my decisions in life

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BigBulge · 46-50, M

The first positive step is to acknowledge that you have a problem, and you've done that. Congratulations ! Now, you're in charge of the situation.
Doing nothing will get you nowhere.
Asking for help is a STRENGTH, not a weakness.
The next positive step is to talk to someone about what's bothering you. There are many thousands of professional therapists (some of them are FREE) who would love to hear from you over the phone or in person. Many times, just talking to a therapist can lift a heavy load from your shoulders.