i feel so alone.

im actually feeling so alone right now. i dont know what to feel, even though im not even sure if im feeling [i]anything[i] at all. i started a new school lately, with one of my close friends. my best friend is in another school. i can barely cope with not seeing her now, so i just block out all thoughts about her. i cant think of any of our memories without tearing up. but recently ive started to feel like she doesnt even care anymore, since she never even makes any efforts to see me. i feel like with every friendship i have, im the one holding it together. i'm always the one who texts first, im always the one who tries to plan when we meet up, but what do i get back? nothing. i ask them if they wanna meet, its always "im busy" or "im too tired". they say 'maybe', and it just gets my hopes up. im sick of this. i feel so lonely, and im struggling to make friends in my new school. my sister keeps arguing with me when i get back home too. i just feel numb, i want this to end.