Struggles & Identity

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Giving someone a simple helping hand with no apprehension...

An elderly Asian man was in front of me at the gym to check-in. The trainer who I had a run-in a few months ago was at the check-in desk was busy flirting with a girl with a well-rounded ass and shapely large breasts. The man didn't seem to know what to do, and he wasn't being acknowledged by the rude and arrogant trainer, so I showed the guy how to scan his ID to check-in. He didn't speak English well and so I showed him what to do.

I saw him wandering around like he didn't know what to do or where to go and I motioned him to the locker room. He asked me where the steam room was and I ended up showing him the washroom, the showers, the steam room, and the pool. After the tour, he looked at the lockers but didn't seem to know what to do so I told him he could pick any open locker for his stuff. He managed to say he didn't have a lock, so I told him to just put his stuff in the locker; it should be safe. He showed me a little cloth pouch he had and told me he had $100 in it. I told him he can put his gym bag in the locker but not to leave money in an unlocked locker and told him there were small "lock boxes" upfront he could use for that.

He didn't seem to understand, so I motioned to him to follow me, and I led him back upfront to show him the lock boxes intended for car keys, credit cards, etc. that has built-in locks. He managed to stuff his money pouch into one of the small boxes and I showed him how the lock works. I told him to remember "box number 12" and his password. He seemed relieved and tapped me on the shoulder and said, "you're a good man." He gave me a lowkey bow with prayerful hands and I returned the gesture.

What social anxiety...?

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DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

Even I don't have any anxiety with single person. Your problem more than just one person. And always has been in your confrontations.

The bus situation, the restaurant situation, your own meetings. All involved groups of people.

And don't say you haven't complained about each of those. Heck you have even complained about grocery stores.

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MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer Well, there could (COULD) be something to that, but that doesn't count as me having any kind of anxiety. I mean maybe I do, but if I do it's just a trace. I know it seems like I'm trying to deny something, but that's not really the case. The bus situation was a genuine intrusion. The restaurant... well that was a long time ago and most of those details are no longer relevant. I'm mostly okay in groups. It's when they become confrontational or some unexpected event occurs that I can get tripped up. That's hardly anything that could even come close to qualifying as social anxiety. That's my point, I guess.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul I have yet to complain about any small groups and I admit to having problems with large groups over 66 years of living.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer I didn't complain about any groups. I basically helped some guy who was somewhat lost, and you are trying to turn it into an indictment of me. That full-of-himself trainer should have done what I did. I basically did his job.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul yet you use this example as not having a problem at all when you do have a problem.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer Well, this is a shining example of how I am able to easily and somewhat effortlessly interact with people. That's the real moral of this event.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul yet my mother didn't complain about driving as much you complain about people in general. It took her decades to drive on a freeway. That's just as much of a anxiety.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer Well, I think you have me confused with someone else. I'm basically a people-person, but I'm discerning I guess you could say. So, I sometimes find the petty little things people engage in, like coalescing for idle chatter let's say or preying on me when I walk into a store intent on helping me when no help is wanted, asked for, or needed to be obnoxious, annoying, and intolerable. As you can imagine I put up with a lot with tact, grace, and patience. Sometimes, it gets to be too much, so I need to disengage. That's all.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul You have a anxiety just like myself and my own mother. There's different types of anxiety still.

Most people have one. That's being human.

Ever heard of a muscle builder being afraid of spiders? That a anxiety.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer No, no, no. I told you. I don't have social anxiety. I've been through this with you a thousand times... at least. You're the only one who doesn't get it.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul guy most have you blocked over this.

I don't ever block.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer I find that hard to believe.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul I'm one of the few that can show this. Look at the time.

I can show this because there's no usernames on it.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer This just shows you haven't blocked or muted anyone. Neither have I. So...?

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul guy i know of three that have blocked you over this. They are friends of mine.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer

10 minutes ago: "Most have you blocked over this."

18 seconds ago: "I know three that have blocked you over this."

Exaggerate much...?

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul I don't know everyone on this site nor does your own feed show everyone on this site anyway. That only leaves those who can possibly see your posts. There's no one else on this post but you and me. With 5 viewers that three haven't responded.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer I'm not sure that is an indication of everything you want it to be.

Look...

1. I don't have social anxiety... at least not technically.
2. People block other people for a variety of reasons.
3. I get that I am intimidating and controversial even though that's not really my intention.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul the indication just by the number of views is no one cares if they haven't already blocked you.

Even my slowest post over the last 5 months gets more than 7 viewers. And I don't aim to please everyone.

BTW that's 27 views from month ago. And I really don't care how many view my posts. I rarely look at it.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer Look who's in denial. Your whole reason for being here seems to be to get attention. That's not necessarily a bad thing... just acknowledge that's what you want.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul it's not only a bad thing yet not my reason for being on here in the slightest.😆

I use this site for when I'm no longer alive. 🤷🏻‍♂

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer Riiiight... so you have no problem. How does it feel to be in denial?

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul guy my life story is on here. If any should care to look and a few have already.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer Don't be so worried and insulted. As long as you have a platform to reveal your thoughts, that's what should be your focus. Don't be so concerned about what others think of you. Be confident in yourself.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul guy no one is going to remember me when I am gone. This is not about myself for that reason. Yet a few that have read it will remember and they can reference it. It's for them.

I'll be gone and won't care

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer You have a defeatist attitude. You probably need some practise or life-coaching on how to better relate to others. You see, it's not something that comes naturally to some people. I suspect you are one of those people. You just might find you are able to interact with people if you didn't constantly separate yourself with them with your defeatist thoughts.

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