My clothes DO NOT set my intentions! My voice does!
I was recently verbally and sexually harassed AGAIN. Yes, again. It’s happened more then I care to discuss. But I quickly caught myself explaining what I was wearing as “proof” I wasn’t dressed in a certain way to attract sexual attention and defending myself from being accused of “asking for it”.
Because FAR TO OFTEN us women have been asked, “What we’re you wearing?”, “Where were you at?”, “We’re you flirting with them?”, or my favorite “But did they hurt you?”…. I have been guilty of asking some of these to women who were harassed because this is the way EVERYONE talked to me when I shared my stories. I would quickly correct myself and say things like I’m sorry I said that it shouldn’t matter what you were wearing or where you were.
We as women and even men should be able to go to the store, night club, gym, concert, or work without the weight of the world looming over them that their shirt might be “asking for it”.
WE WILL SET OUR INTENTIONS ABOUT OUR BODY! MY BODY MY INTENTIONS! WHEN, WHERE, HOW, and WHY ARE UP TO ME AND MY INTENTIONS WILL BE SET VERBALLY AND WITHOUT APOLOGY!
AND FINALLY EVEN IF I DECIDE TO BE WITH SOMEONE I WANT TO BE , NOBODY SHOULD HAVE A SAY IN MY CHOICE.
You can't expect men not to notice when you have gone to great lengths to make sure you are scantily or provocatively dressed publicly to make them notice and then complain that they have indecent thoughts? That is baiting for attention. If you are not a sex worker, you seem to then be advertising like one.
In some countries, there are "decency" laws that prohibit that type of behavior in public places.
Your clothes certainly don’t assume your intentions, but they absolutely affect my interest. That’ll never change.
Men are expected to take the lead and ask if you’re interested. How tactful that is obviously varies depending on the individual. The racier the outfit, the greater the probability of unwanted attention.
You can’t dictate a lack of class. That’s not to say your reality isn’t correct. It just won’t always work despite you being a good person.
It’s no different than me walking down a crowded street in a bad part of a city. I might get mugged. I might not. However, if I’ve got money falling out of my pockets, the probability of a bad outcome increases.
I agree. Unfortunately most men don’t care as long as you look good enough we are going to make an advance.. some more subtle and some more invasive and disrespectful
This reminds me of the saying in the cosplay and fandom community, "cosplay is not consent" meaning just cause a woman is dressed in a "sexy" constume does not give you any rights to be up in her bizz!
Couldn't agree more. I find it shameful that some men can barely control themselves or try to make others feel bad for their own lack of control. It is true that people cannot always control their thoughts, but they should be able to control acting on those thoughts.
