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NorthernBear · 51-55, M
It's all moot. She secretly has been having an affair with a guy named Absko and is planning to move back to his homeland with him.
lol jk How is anyone on here to know if you have a shot with this girl or not? 20 km sounds like nothing. But if you're relying on public transport it depends how good your local transport system is. You don't wan to have to ride all around town for a few hours just to go the 12 miles to your destination. I have had to do that when my car was in the shop. After that I said screw that and took a taxi. In today's terms it would be Uber or Lyft instead of taxi. Same thing, you just use an app and pay right on the app instead of actually calling and paying in cash. Much more convenient.
lol jk How is anyone on here to know if you have a shot with this girl or not? 20 km sounds like nothing. But if you're relying on public transport it depends how good your local transport system is. You don't wan to have to ride all around town for a few hours just to go the 12 miles to your destination. I have had to do that when my car was in the shop. After that I said screw that and took a taxi. In today's terms it would be Uber or Lyft instead of taxi. Same thing, you just use an app and pay right on the app instead of actually calling and paying in cash. Much more convenient.
Whether a distance is too great depends on your means of transport and income.
To walk would take most of a day. That would be impractical unless you moved to live close to where she is - and that would be taking a big risk considering you don't know what sort of person she has become.
To cycle would be just possible providing you were very fit.
If you have access to public transport then the distance would not be too great.
If you have a motorbike or a car and can afford the fuel to travel both ways fairly frequently, then it would be easy to build a relationship.
At present, it seems you don't know if she has a boyfriend or is interested in someone.
When young people can seem very different to the people they become.
I had a friend at school. In those days we were close; we discussed school work and life, our families and interests. But I never thought to inquire about her values.
We remet several years after leaving school, and I discovered she was a racist, an opportunist, entitled, and had zero empathy for anyone. In conversation over lunch, it turned out that her parents had raised her with those values.
After that, I refused to have anything more to do with her.
I share this story as a warning to be very careful. You may find her beautiful and carry deep longing to get close to her, but you cannot yet know who she has become. Please, take your time - and be prepared for the possibility of disappointment.
I know good looks are compellingly attractive to young men, but in the long run external beauty fades, and all that's left is quality of character and (hopefully shared) values.
These latter are what make the real difference in best chances for a successful relationship. It takes time to get to know who someone really is.
To walk would take most of a day. That would be impractical unless you moved to live close to where she is - and that would be taking a big risk considering you don't know what sort of person she has become.
To cycle would be just possible providing you were very fit.
If you have access to public transport then the distance would not be too great.
If you have a motorbike or a car and can afford the fuel to travel both ways fairly frequently, then it would be easy to build a relationship.
At present, it seems you don't know if she has a boyfriend or is interested in someone.
When young people can seem very different to the people they become.
I had a friend at school. In those days we were close; we discussed school work and life, our families and interests. But I never thought to inquire about her values.
We remet several years after leaving school, and I discovered she was a racist, an opportunist, entitled, and had zero empathy for anyone. In conversation over lunch, it turned out that her parents had raised her with those values.
After that, I refused to have anything more to do with her.
I share this story as a warning to be very careful. You may find her beautiful and carry deep longing to get close to her, but you cannot yet know who she has become. Please, take your time - and be prepared for the possibility of disappointment.
I know good looks are compellingly attractive to young men, but in the long run external beauty fades, and all that's left is quality of character and (hopefully shared) values.
These latter are what make the real difference in best chances for a successful relationship. It takes time to get to know who someone really is.
Heroisthebest23 · 22-25, M
@hartfire Yeah thats true. Unfortunately I still didn't learn to drive so I can only rely on public transport. And yeah I have no idea whether she has a boyfriend or not. I did see in some of her older pics in 2019, that she took group pics with a group of both girls and guys in her college. I guess they were just her male friends but idk. And yeah its possible she changed a lot because we all do as we get older.
@Heroisthebest23 Sounds like you're ready to accept the reality of who she turns out to and whatever her current circumstances are.
Public transport means it's not impossible, just a lot of time to-ing and fro-ing.
I wish you the best of luck. :)
Public transport means it's not impossible, just a lot of time to-ing and fro-ing.
I wish you the best of luck. :)
Baazer · 26-30, M
Well if it feels any better, me and my gf started out about 100km away from each other, almost 90minutes by car. I then had to move cross country for a new job, which made the distance about 400km.
Now we live together and have a kid.
But there's alooooooooooot of variables to take into account.
In the beginning, I was still living at home + had more income, so it made more sense for me to go to her than the other way around.
But I think you have more to work out before considering if the distance is an issue or not.
I think @hartfire covered that pretty well.
Now we live together and have a kid.
But there's alooooooooooot of variables to take into account.
In the beginning, I was still living at home + had more income, so it made more sense for me to go to her than the other way around.
But I think you have more to work out before considering if the distance is an issue or not.
I think @hartfire covered that pretty well.
zonavar68 · 51-55, M
20 km is nothing, but I live 30 km from a main regional city in Australia that's a couple of hours north of Sydney and about 75 km from another one half-way to Sydney, and I'm 'too far' for most people in those cities to consider a realistic dating prospect when otherwise they are interested and can't find anything else to reject me for. 8-) Sydney people are totally out because it's just too hard to meet up.
ExtremeNext · 31-35
Heroisthebest23 · 22-25, M
@ExtremeNext What? No. She was my childhood friend. We used to go to the same school and play together, have sleepovers so she is actually a girl and I know her in person. We are chatting on Instagram these days.
ExtremeNext · 31-35
@Heroisthebest23 she had a sex change 😳
zonavar68 · 51-55, M
@ExtremeNext Ming fleetfoot
littlepuppywantanewlife · 31-35, M
How accounts do you have?