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Have you ever had a drug problem?

This isn't for judging.. I'm just looking to share experiences. So I'll go ahead.

I started trying drugs at a very early age. I was 11 & I grew up in environments that deprived me of most of my childhood.
It started with weed. Then I tried liquor shortly after. By the time I was 12 I was already starting to try different pills to see how it all felt.

So most of my usage was all weed, alcohol, & pills until I got older. After high school I was kicked out of my house & I spent time on the streets. I was homeless for a time period, which coincideded with the same time SW first opened up. I was here & I posted regularly but I never fully opened up about what I was going through. At that time I wasn't addicted to hard drugs, but I did them often.

Actually I was never truly addicted to the hard stuff. I just didn't care & I did whatever. I had a very apathetic mindset. I didn't care about anything & the way I saw life was "f*ck it, if I die then at least I don't have to be here anymore".
I think that the reason I did all those drugs was because part of me hoped it would be the reason I didn't wake up one day.

It's crazy to admit that even now because I was always such a funny person & always joking around. I still am.

The night I stopped was because I realized all that & when it all hit me I felt like absolute shit. But I knew I was lucky because I shouldn't even still be alive.
The night before, I drank the entire day, smoked nonstop, drank half a bottle of codeine, fought somebody, ran from the cops, ended up at a crack house where I proceeded to pop 3 Xanax, then I crushed 3 more Xanax & snorted all of it.
Didn't stop there though. I followed that up with 3 lines of coke, 2 bumps of meth, then last.. we smoked heroin (which shockingly was the only thing I'd never done until then).
All while I still smoked weed & drank throughout all of that 🤷

The way I felt the next day was the sickest I'd ever felt in my life & I kept asking myself "why tf am I still even here?" It was my sister's birthday & she's the most important person in my life.
I didn't even tell her happy birthday but I could waste the whole day getting f**ked up...
I hated how far I'd gone at that point.

Idk. It's not much of a quitting story but I never went back after that.
I simply got sick of feeling that way.
I joke about drugs or whatever on here sometimes but believe me it all comes from experience. I'm clean now
Although I do smoke weed all the time still 🙌😂

& I don't drink like I used to either, despite my name 😅 but I definitely still drink lol. But hey that's me I guess 🤷
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Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M
Yeah I smoked weed at 14, started properly at 16 after drinking, then got into pills and MDMA, then LSD, ketamine, DMT (pretty awesome though tbf). I was really psychologically addicted to just getting high though and escaping my problems as I have trauma from my childhood. I feel like it stunted my development as a person, I felt like I was a few years behind but I caught up.

I got a fresh start when I moved to another part of the country and enjoyed sobriety and I've never wanted to do stuff like that again. I smoked weed still for a bit but I stopped at like 25.

I have a couple friends who had a rough time though, one ended up on heroin and still struggles with that, another nearly died from cocaine induced organ damage and had some psychological issues because of it. It's weird when you stop because sobriety seems so strange that it's like a new high haha.
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@Ryannnnnn I always wanted to try dmt & honestly I still might one day. Closest I've been was eating 14 grams of shrooms which is a half ounce 🤣 that was a year & a half ago.
I know what you mean about feeling behind. I even know what you mean about sobriety feeling like a new high 😂 a year ago I decided not to smoke weed before work, & I went the whole day sober. Afterwards I was like "woah I had this energy all day.. I was so talkative it was great. I need to do this more often" & my ex was like "what? Be sober?" & I was like damn 😶 I legit just got excited about feeling sober 😅 but ever since then, smoking is less important than it used to be. If I go without it, it never bothers me anymore.

Ita dope you were able to stop all of that. I'm actually glad to see how many people here have had that strength. & It's sad seeing friends go down like that.. I still gotta watch it