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Have you ever had a drug problem?

This isn't for judging.. I'm just looking to share experiences. So I'll go ahead.

I started trying drugs at a very early age. I was 11 & I grew up in environments that deprived me of most of my childhood.
It started with weed. Then I tried liquor shortly after. By the time I was 12 I was already starting to try different pills to see how it all felt.

So most of my usage was all weed, alcohol, & pills until I got older. After high school I was kicked out of my house & I spent time on the streets. I was homeless for a time period, which coincideded with the same time SW first opened up. I was here & I posted regularly but I never fully opened up about what I was going through. At that time I wasn't addicted to hard drugs, but I did them often.

Actually I was never truly addicted to the hard stuff. I just didn't care & I did whatever. I had a very apathetic mindset. I didn't care about anything & the way I saw life was "f*ck it, if I die then at least I don't have to be here anymore".
I think that the reason I did all those drugs was because part of me hoped it would be the reason I didn't wake up one day.

It's crazy to admit that even now because I was always such a funny person & always joking around. I still am.

The night I stopped was because I realized all that & when it all hit me I felt like absolute shit. But I knew I was lucky because I shouldn't even still be alive.
The night before, I drank the entire day, smoked nonstop, drank half a bottle of codeine, fought somebody, ran from the cops, ended up at a crack house where I proceeded to pop 3 Xanax, then I crushed 3 more Xanax & snorted all of it.
Didn't stop there though. I followed that up with 3 lines of coke, 2 bumps of meth, then last.. we smoked heroin (which shockingly was the only thing I'd never done until then).
All while I still smoked weed & drank throughout all of that 馃し

The way I felt the next day was the sickest I'd ever felt in my life & I kept asking myself "why tf am I still even here?" It was my sister's birthday & she's the most important person in my life.
I didn't even tell her happy birthday but I could waste the whole day getting f**ked up...
I hated how far I'd gone at that point.

Idk. It's not much of a quitting story but I never went back after that.
I simply got sick of feeling that way.
I joke about drugs or whatever on here sometimes but believe me it all comes from experience. I'm clean now
Although I do smoke weed all the time still 馃檶馃槀

& I don't drink like I used to either, despite my name 馃槄 but I definitely still drink lol. But hey that's me I guess 馃し
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kodiac22-25, M
When i was 10 the priests started giving me wine ,it made it easier for them to do.stuff and kept me from fighting. From there it progressed to roofies and hard liquor which zoned me out so much i didn't even know or remember what was happening. I needed it to survive. . Moved on to meth coke and pills because i couldn't deal with reality. Then i discovered dilaudid and got hooked hard . I never made a decision to quit i just got so far from that world i had no choice. I ratnted raved cried puked shook like a leaf for two solid week. I been clean since i joined sw and moved to the sticks of West Virginia.
ChiefWalksWith40oz26-30
@kodiac that's a lot to overcome. So many people judge those of us who have spent time doing drugs.. but they don't know the lives we had to live that led us there. They don't know what it's like to not have your childhood & pain be the only life you know. It makes you wanna escape. I'm proud of how far you've come. I read your posts on here sometimes & I think you're a strong dude 馃憣
kodiac22-25, M
@ChiefWalksWith40oz Thanks man i appreciate it馃憤
Roadsterrider56-60, M
@kodiac The sticks in WV is a good place to be. I spend half my time in Clarksburg. I have a place there with a few acres and a camper where I hide out.
kodiac22-25, M
@Roadsterrider Cool! the closest town to me is Moundsville. Never met nicer people than the ones here
Roadsterrider56-60, M
@kodiac I know Moundsville a little, my brother-in-law was a corrections officer there for years. I grew up in WV and have lived in NC, IL, PA, TX, AZ, and a little while in California. The only place I have ever been that I liked as well as WV is Texas.
kodiac22-25, M
@Roadsterrider was he at the old haunted prison? That place is creepy as hell lol . We are 25 miles from Moundsville . Gos country lol
Roadsterrider56-60, M
@kodiac That is the one. He never mentioned any ghost stories though. Last Halloween I did a tour of the State Mental Hospital in Weston, that is a spooky place. Just reading about some of the stuff they did there is enough to scare me. Ice pick lobotomies, electrical shock therapy. Some crazy stuff, pictures of the patients getting zapped. I will take a tour of the prison sooner or later, might be a thing to do this year for Halloween.
kodiac22-25, M
@Roadsterrider Absolutely do it! It's been in all the ghost hunter shows. I have some pics of outside I'll try to find and post.