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Have you ever had a drug problem?

This isn't for judging.. I'm just looking to share experiences. So I'll go ahead.

I started trying drugs at a very early age. I was 11 & I grew up in environments that deprived me of most of my childhood.
It started with weed. Then I tried liquor shortly after. By the time I was 12 I was already starting to try different pills to see how it all felt.

So most of my usage was all weed, alcohol, & pills until I got older. After high school I was kicked out of my house & I spent time on the streets. I was homeless for a time period, which coincideded with the same time SW first opened up. I was here & I posted regularly but I never fully opened up about what I was going through. At that time I wasn't addicted to hard drugs, but I did them often.

Actually I was never truly addicted to the hard stuff. I just didn't care & I did whatever. I had a very apathetic mindset. I didn't care about anything & the way I saw life was "f*ck it, if I die then at least I don't have to be here anymore".
I think that the reason I did all those drugs was because part of me hoped it would be the reason I didn't wake up one day.

It's crazy to admit that even now because I was always such a funny person & always joking around. I still am.

The night I stopped was because I realized all that & when it all hit me I felt like absolute shit. But I knew I was lucky because I shouldn't even still be alive.
The night before, I drank the entire day, smoked nonstop, drank half a bottle of codeine, fought somebody, ran from the cops, ended up at a crack house where I proceeded to pop 3 Xanax, then I crushed 3 more Xanax & snorted all of it.
Didn't stop there though. I followed that up with 3 lines of coke, 2 bumps of meth, then last.. we smoked heroin (which shockingly was the only thing I'd never done until then).
All while I still smoked weed & drank throughout all of that 馃し

The way I felt the next day was the sickest I'd ever felt in my life & I kept asking myself "why tf am I still even here?" It was my sister's birthday & she's the most important person in my life.
I didn't even tell her happy birthday but I could waste the whole day getting f**ked up...
I hated how far I'd gone at that point.

Idk. It's not much of a quitting story but I never went back after that.
I simply got sick of feeling that way.
I joke about drugs or whatever on here sometimes but believe me it all comes from experience. I'm clean now
Although I do smoke weed all the time still 馃檶馃槀

& I don't drink like I used to either, despite my name 馃槄 but I definitely still drink lol. But hey that's me I guess 馃し
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I experimented as a teenager, weed, cocaine, heroin even (smoked not injected). I was really, really lucky I stopped early and was never addicted. There were a lot of alcoholics and substance abusers, especially on my mother鈥檚 side of the family. My youngest sister has been fighting the battle for decades. Neither my mother nor my brother touch alcohol. Today I鈥檓 limited to the occasional edible to sleep, and a single drink once in awhile.
@bijouxbroussard is the younger sister that has substance abuse issues, the one who modeled like me? 馃枻馃
@DarkHeaven Both of my sisters modeled. My middle one managed not to get caught up in that, but our youngest sister already had problems.
ChiefWalksWith40oz26-30
@bijouxbroussard Who would've thought 馃し you're so innocent in my eyes. But I'm glad you got away before it got bad too. Some people can, others miss that checkpoint. & I can relate to it being a family thing. It runs in mine as well. In fact I'm always warned that every man in my family has died from alcohol. I still drink though. But I'm proud for you & your brother both 馃檹 breaking cycles
@bijouxbroussard that鈥檚 so sad, I鈥檓 sorry. I don鈥檛 have substance issues but it did leave me with my anorexia, so that kinda sucks. been fighting that since 16 years old.