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Have you ever had a drug problem?

This isn't for judging.. I'm just looking to share experiences. So I'll go ahead.

I started trying drugs at a very early age. I was 11 & I grew up in environments that deprived me of most of my childhood.
It started with weed. Then I tried liquor shortly after. By the time I was 12 I was already starting to try different pills to see how it all felt.

So most of my usage was all weed, alcohol, & pills until I got older. After high school I was kicked out of my house & I spent time on the streets. I was homeless for a time period, which coincideded with the same time SW first opened up. I was here & I posted regularly but I never fully opened up about what I was going through. At that time I wasn't addicted to hard drugs, but I did them often.

Actually I was never truly addicted to the hard stuff. I just didn't care & I did whatever. I had a very apathetic mindset. I didn't care about anything & the way I saw life was "f*ck it, if I die then at least I don't have to be here anymore".
I think that the reason I did all those drugs was because part of me hoped it would be the reason I didn't wake up one day.

It's crazy to admit that even now because I was always such a funny person & always joking around. I still am.

The night I stopped was because I realized all that & when it all hit me I felt like absolute shit. But I knew I was lucky because I shouldn't even still be alive.
The night before, I drank the entire day, smoked nonstop, drank half a bottle of codeine, fought somebody, ran from the cops, ended up at a crack house where I proceeded to pop 3 Xanax, then I crushed 3 more Xanax & snorted all of it.
Didn't stop there though. I followed that up with 3 lines of coke, 2 bumps of meth, then last.. we smoked heroin (which shockingly was the only thing I'd never done until then).
All while I still smoked weed & drank throughout all of that 🤷

The way I felt the next day was the sickest I'd ever felt in my life & I kept asking myself "why tf am I still even here?" It was my sister's birthday & she's the most important person in my life.
I didn't even tell her happy birthday but I could waste the whole day getting f**ked up...
I hated how far I'd gone at that point.

Idk. It's not much of a quitting story but I never went back after that.
I simply got sick of feeling that way.
I joke about drugs or whatever on here sometimes but believe me it all comes from experience. I'm clean now
Although I do smoke weed all the time still 🙌😂

& I don't drink like I used to either, despite my name 😅 but I definitely still drink lol. But hey that's me I guess 🤷
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How do you feel about it all now ?
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@Stark I don't regret anything. I mean sometimes it was fun, sometimes it led to some pretty fucked up shit. I learned a lot through all of it because I did a lot. I made choices that I'd never make now. I had a heart for everyone else but I never gave a fuck about myself. I'm consider myself lucky to have made it out half the time
@ChiefJustWalks interesting out look to it all.
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@Stark Alright now answer my question 😝 over here analyzing me lol that's my thing 😅
@ChiefJustWalks
Haha I analyze any and everything.
no, I’ve never had a drug problem. I hardly drink I’ll do it socially be even then I’ll just sip on one drink the whole night until it waters down.
My dad was always weird about drugs even the common ones people take like pain pills for headaches and cramps and alcohol his weirdness towards me about it just made me not really care enough to pursue it. He was a drugs addict and homeless at one part of his life so I think it had a bit to do with the trauma from that. Now he’s a drug counselor (:
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@Stark I do too I don't blame ya 😉 I'm endlessly curious lol. But you had a great role model 😌 I'm glad. Honestly your dad sounds like a cool person to talk to. He went through that pain in his past so that you didn't have to. That's the biggest thing I wish for my kids someday. That's why I don't regret my past. Because I wanna speak from experience when I tell them they don't need that life
@ChiefJustWalks damn ur a great role model already. #Hubbymaterial 🥵
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@Stark I'm no role model lol but thank you 😌 I love saying "do as I say not as I do!" because I always give my siblings advice & they look at me like huh? 🤣 They get it tho.
But dammit you're gonna make me crush harder 😭 right now it's just slightly lol
@ChiefJustWalks okay now you sound like an old man. Not the do as I say saying 🤭
That’s great I’m sure they look up to you. You’re probably like the cool balanced bro. Wild but not too wild to not be logical.
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@Stark Its a saying that fits me 😂 but I do say it while laughing so they know I'm not being all hypocritical fr lol. Just looking out. But thanks 😌 I already get to be a cool uncle because some of my lil siblings are having babies now
@ChiefJustWalks omg that’s fucking scary 😦 but exciting on the uncle part. I always wanted a role like that because you get to be the cool one hanging out and spoiling and then give the kid back. It’s nice (:
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@Stark Oh for sure 😂 I can't wait to spoil both my neices lol I kinda hope one of them is into shoes so I could buy those all the time 😅