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Have you ever had a drug problem?

This isn't for judging.. I'm just looking to share experiences. So I'll go ahead.

I started trying drugs at a very early age. I was 11 & I grew up in environments that deprived me of most of my childhood.
It started with weed. Then I tried liquor shortly after. By the time I was 12 I was already starting to try different pills to see how it all felt.

So most of my usage was all weed, alcohol, & pills until I got older. After high school I was kicked out of my house & I spent time on the streets. I was homeless for a time period, which coincideded with the same time SW first opened up. I was here & I posted regularly but I never fully opened up about what I was going through. At that time I wasn't addicted to hard drugs, but I did them often.

Actually I was never truly addicted to the hard stuff. I just didn't care & I did whatever. I had a very apathetic mindset. I didn't care about anything & the way I saw life was "f*ck it, if I die then at least I don't have to be here anymore".
I think that the reason I did all those drugs was because part of me hoped it would be the reason I didn't wake up one day.

It's crazy to admit that even now because I was always such a funny person & always joking around. I still am.

The night I stopped was because I realized all that & when it all hit me I felt like absolute shit. But I knew I was lucky because I shouldn't even still be alive.
The night before, I drank the entire day, smoked nonstop, drank half a bottle of codeine, fought somebody, ran from the cops, ended up at a crack house where I proceeded to pop 3 Xanax, then I crushed 3 more Xanax & snorted all of it.
Didn't stop there though. I followed that up with 3 lines of coke, 2 bumps of meth, then last.. we smoked heroin (which shockingly was the only thing I'd never done until then).
All while I still smoked weed & drank throughout all of that 馃し

The way I felt the next day was the sickest I'd ever felt in my life & I kept asking myself "why tf am I still even here?" It was my sister's birthday & she's the most important person in my life.
I didn't even tell her happy birthday but I could waste the whole day getting f**ked up...
I hated how far I'd gone at that point.

Idk. It's not much of a quitting story but I never went back after that.
I simply got sick of feeling that way.
I joke about drugs or whatever on here sometimes but believe me it all comes from experience. I'm clean now
Although I do smoke weed all the time still 馃檶馃槀

& I don't drink like I used to either, despite my name 馃槄 but I definitely still drink lol. But hey that's me I guess 馃し
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CarissimiF
I鈥檓 so glad you got off that stuff, and put your life back together. That鈥檚 no easy thing, so I applaud you.

No, I鈥檝e never taken anything that a doctor didn鈥檛 prescribe, or what you can buy at the pharmacy. I鈥檝e never had weed, as you call it. It never appealed to me, even in my darkest hours when I didn鈥檛 want to go on. I suppose I was just born with a natural aversion to that stuff, which is a good thing.
ChiefWalksWith40oz26-30
@Carissimi it's definitely a good thing 馃檹 I wish I was never tempted by shit like that. I had a brother my age who never touched any drugs or alcohol & I always thought it was funny how opposite we were. But I respected it nonetheless & he never judged me either.
& Thank you 馃
CarissimiF
Your brother sounds like a good guy. Be well. 馃檹 @ChiefWalksWith40oz
ChiefWalksWith40oz26-30
@Carissimi he's one of the reasons I'm still here 馃檹 literally. He saved my life once when I got alcohol poisoning & he never told on me for it either. I felt so guilty for doing that to him