Vivarium with Land Crabs or Dating a Asian Woman

I'm crossed. I don't eat seafood and used to own four little chili crabs imported (probably illegally) from the Phillipines. I think I was one of the first people in America to own them, the people I bought them from in a seedy shop in Chinatown said they were new, and thought they were fully aquatic, but figured out after a while they were landcrabs. I would spend hours just watching their little mouths open and shut horizontally and making these little whispery sounds talking to one another. I eventually climbed up to Sutro Tower where it was always dripping wet and collected moss, and got small rocks and branches for them from San Bruno on the beach, twisted and sundried. I loved those little guys. Pic of Sutro Tower on a hilltop where it is always foggy and drippy, good place for moss, it's a rainforest:


Due to my exposure researching Boethius and Cassiodorus, Cassiodorus was a late roman philosopher who founded a monastery in southern Italy called The Vavarium, that people who kept dry woodland or jungle aquariums for plants and land animals called them Varariums too, for reasons I don't understand but am willing to go with. Found a cool culture of people keeping crabs and lizards in vavariums. Some other groups kept traditional seafood like lobsters bought from stores in home aquariums, or sea slugs from around the world.

So I really like the idea of having a massive land crab vivarium. I also, like my grandfather, like asian women. They are very attractive. My chinese landlord was a woman at the time, and she really liked my crabs. But she asked me if I was planning on eating them. I said no a little dismayed, and she looked confused. Every asian I showed pics of my crabs to also asked if I was going to eat them. EVERY SINGLE LAST ONE. There are alot of asians in San Francisco. I had penpals in China, they also asked if I was going to eat them, and they said they would if they had the chance. Every single last one wanted to eat my pets.

So I started investigating this and found videos of asians eating still living lobsters moving around on their plates. Found videos of japanese women fighting live octopus on their plates. I know they have this dish where they freshly cut up octopus and serve it still twiching, but that's not what I am talking about. The octopus were fully alive and intact, fighting the forks.

Then I read about US sailors serving with Filipino cooks. They would catch the fish, but wanted the fish cooked a certain way the filipinos wouldn't want it, so they would catch extra fish for the Filipinos to do Filipino things to, and it was best not to watch that because everyone said it was disturbing.

So if I build a Vivarium, it means I can't have asian people around it. They might try to eat them, and because they don't always cook their seafood, it can happen quickly, as in turn your back on them for a moment and it happens quick. These crabs are bitesize.

But Asian women look so cute. But everyone is a seafood freak. They like, go to seafood markets where all the fish have heads and eyes wide open in shock, and mouths open with human like tongues sticking out and sometimes teeth, and they are delighted to order them butched right infront of them with heads flying off. These women are delightful to be around but they got a dark side.

Like.... you ever been to a chinese buffet and seen the little cooked mini lobsters?


That's not traditional chinese cuisine. They were imported from Japan in the 1990s. They don't originate from Japan either, they were imported to Japan from the Mississippi and Ohio Rivers as pets. They are American crawdads. Chinese saw aquarium pets japanese kids would love and adore and thought "Oh, that would be so good in a buffet" and started eating them all.

I don't like the idea of eating pets. So it upsets me. Only asians I've met who don't eat seafood are vegetarians, and half the vegetarians I know still eat seafood because somehow that is a acceptible exception.

So it comes down to, do I have asian friends or a asian girlfriend, or do I have a vivarium full of lovely and delightful landcrabs who like to climb and socialize with each other. And I know what you are thinking, just find one who agrees not to eat your crabs. They all have mothers who visit, or friends, and they will see the vavarium like a buffet. I don't want to walk in on my mother in law woofing them down at the dinner table and acting like it's okay, perfectly normal, and not understanding why I'm upset she just ate my pets.