We can't people just be happy and single?

Sorry you are lonely.

I am lonely, too.

Earlier in life horniness played a big role, too. But I am rarely horny anymore, so it is mostly loneliness that drives me to talk to women.

It's an excellent point. Unrealistic expectations exist in a lot of areas. Either through friends and family or media. I personally think feeling lonely is a choice that's driven by those expectations. I'd say that just by acknowledging those expectations exist, and are coming from outside sources, means you're on the right path. 👍

People keep telling me to find inner peace and happiness. To love myself. That never seems to work for me. I gave too much time to one person and now I dont even know how to be with anyone else. Its very lonely and painful

It can be difficult remember how full life can be without romance when all the above is being pushed on you. I’ll always say though some of my happiest most exciting years I didn’t have a partner & I didn’t look for one either. I spent a lot of time with my friends. We worked out together, went on out of town trips, we participated in events in our city together, so much done that I really enjoyed without the thought of needing a boyfriend or girlfriend to complete it. Being single doesn’t mean in search of someone. It can be about satisfying all your wants in life while not having to worry about another ones. We all can feel lonely at times being in a relationship doesn’t cure that. I hope you can shake off any doubts others make you feel about choosing to be on your own. You’re not missing out, life isn’t waiting to start once “they” arrive. Embrace everything that comes with your life & make the most of everyday. 🌻