28 Days Later
On Wednesday I'll be 30 days clean. This is the longest I've gone abstinent in 12 years. A lot of it has to do with being on the right meds (and taking them). Also going to meetings, being of service, doing step work, and talking with my sponsor.
My sponsor, as of today, is no longer my sponsor. He's relapsed. Selfishly, I'm angry. I feel let down. I really feel for the guy, he's always been the first person I go to, months before he became my sponsor. But we barely made it two months in before this happened. I'm also his first and only sponsee. I don't know what to do. It's not like I have a backup. And he literally told me he relapsed less than an hour after I finished my step one this morning. This is my second step one, with a second sponsor. I've never done a step two. Angrily, I think I never will. I don't want to fucking do it a third time. I don't want a different sponsor, but I don't have a choice. I know I really need to take time to figure this out.
Shit was too good, man. I should've seen something fucked up coming. Can't go a month without something fucking things up for me.
I'm at a fucking loss.
My sponsor, as of today, is no longer my sponsor. He's relapsed. Selfishly, I'm angry. I feel let down. I really feel for the guy, he's always been the first person I go to, months before he became my sponsor. But we barely made it two months in before this happened. I'm also his first and only sponsee. I don't know what to do. It's not like I have a backup. And he literally told me he relapsed less than an hour after I finished my step one this morning. This is my second step one, with a second sponsor. I've never done a step two. Angrily, I think I never will. I don't want to fucking do it a third time. I don't want a different sponsor, but I don't have a choice. I know I really need to take time to figure this out.
Shit was too good, man. I should've seen something fucked up coming. Can't go a month without something fucking things up for me.
I'm at a fucking loss.
26-30, M
