My boyfriend's "friend" didn't invite me to the wedding and it kind of stung. Am I being weird?

So my boyfriend got invited to a wedding—I wasn’t. Yeah. That already stung. I told him it made me feel kinda invisible, like our relationship didn’t matter enough to even be acknowledged.

This is a friend my boyfriend met as a child at the church he has grown up at. We've been together for 2 years, and i've been attending my boyfriend's church for over a year.

it hurt to be excluded, especially since other people attending know he’s in a relationship. I brought it up and explained that it made me feel sidelined and like our relationship wasn’t being acknowledged.

He says he gets it, but he doesn’t want to skip the wedding entirely because he’s worried it’ll make him look petty and ruin the relationship with his friend long-term. He plans to go to the ceremony but skip the reception, hoping that it quietly shows he wasn’t cool with me being left out (and his brothers might say that too if asked).

I appreciate the effort, but honestly? It still doesn’t sit right with me. I’m trying to be understanding, but it feels like my feelings are being weighed against some hypothetical future favor. Am I being too sensitive, or would this feel weird to you too?

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RubySoo · 56-60, F

I get you being put out, but I also understand there are many reasons they haven't invited you.. and probably other partners too.
Remember, wedding ettiqutte is a minefield and although theses days its not as common, tradition states the brides family pay for the wedding, so if they dont know you personally and have lots of family and close friends they want there, partners of friends may not be priority.
In the past, i've been invited to weddings of people i work with. Good friends I know socially too....but my husband wasnt invited.
We have a family wedding coming up in a few months. Me hubs and our two grown up kids have been invited.....but not their other halves. My son's partner is also a friend of the couple, but she's not invited.
The couple stated on the invites they are not doing 'plus ones' as they really want everyone at their wedding to be people they know and love so everyone is totally comfortable and able to let their hair down!

Im sure its nothing personal against you. Wish them well and let your partner go along to support his lifelong friend on his special day.
If it were one of your longstanding friends and they didnt invite yr man.....would you still go??? I know I would!!

4meAndyou · F

@RubySoo BEST ANSWER!!!

RubySoo · 56-60, F

@4meAndyou i didn't do plus ones at my wedding 35 years ago! I invited lots of work friends, so did hubs, but not their partners.....it would have been far too expensive. My mother ( who paid a good chunk of the bill) insisted on inviting all my cousins on her side of the family, most of whom I didn't know coz they were a lot older than me.....but....they got priority over our friends partners.🫤

4meAndyou · F

@RubySoo Family is very important at weddings...so you've got to include all the Great Aunts and so on.

RubySoo · 56-60, F

@4meAndyou i don't believe you've got to.....but understand many would.
My mum saw my wedding as her big day....i got what i wanted from it......but could have done without some of her additions....

4meAndyou · F

@RubySoo 🤣🤣🤣 My mother was clueless. She grew up bailing hay with her brothers on a farm, and had not the least idea how to go on. She told ME to arrange everything, and said THEY would pay for it...but she gave me a low budget. Somehow, I managed...🤣🤣🤣...and 90% of my family lived out west at the time, and only 4 of them traveled to be there.