Family dinners ups and downs.

So we went.

I was 5 minutes early. It was pointed out.

We were dressed in fall colors. It was pointed out.

My daughter wore her ear buds most of the time to help her deal with the noise. It was pointed out.

I wore my glasses and wasn't clean shaved. It was pointed out.

My kids where on their best behavior. It was pointed out.

It was very cold so me hanging outside easy. I thankfully didn't have a lot of outbursts but i had a lot of facial tics. They where pointed out.

My newest tic of slamming my hand down on the table is still a big issue so it made dinner a problem. My parents are old school and want everyone at the dinner table. I knew it wasn't going to work. I sat by my kids and it wasn't long before my tic happened. Everyone jumped and looked at me. I stood up and backed away from the table.

Daddy's tics make him do that sometimes. Its ok. Sit back down dad. Everyone will understand. My sweet baby girl says and pulls me back to the table.

I wasn't sure what to do.

Sit dad. You need to eat you haven't eat all day. Its ok everyone understands.

So i do. My parents stair at me. I move my chair back and try and keep my right hand off the table. I'm right handed so it's hard.
It helps some but i hit the table 3 more times during dinner. No one said anything. My boy starts chatting about school and the mood lightens up. But my father wasn't happy.

We finished eating. Took a bunch of family photos and the kids go off to with thier cousins.
I hang back away from everyone.

My father comes over to me. He says nothing as he grabs my arms and pushes my sleeve up.
He sees the bruises on my arm. He asks me about it.
So i tell him when it started and what a issue its been for me.

He says well maybe for Christmas just drop the kids off for dinner and don't stay. He walks away.
So we left shortly after that.