So the 22 or 23 or ..etc is allegedly my birthday. It is a long story. A bunch of friends insist to take me for a drink

It will be the very first time I actually do get drunk (or more). I had alcohol but didn't like it ,more than 13 years ago. It was vodka. And it was just a few sips.

My family organized a party for me tomorrow. I don't feel like doing that yet like always, I don't like policing other people's happiness.

I lost too many people this year. It doesn't feel celebratory. But hey, there will always be something to grieve. Whether it is related to me personally or not. I have to settle with the guilt and give others an opportunity to hope not everything is broken.

I often think of that last bit while teaching kids. Regardless of my beliefs, they are better off not being exposed to my disillusionment.

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WestonTexan · 18-21, M

Sometimes a birthday celebration is more for the people in our lives than it is for us, because they want to celebrate us and it's an ideal opportunity for it. I don't think there's anything wrong with not feeling celebratory or not being too enthusiastic about your birthday. But I also get that it might mean more to our loved ones.

Hope it's fun either way--I admit I like getting drunk with close friends, but it's not for everyone.

Also, my birthday was yesterday, so ours are close :)

SinlessOnslaught · M

I know you lost a lot of people you care about. There's nothing I can say to make that better. But I want you to celebrate because this world still has you. You're a miracle and a blessing to us. Those people you lost would have lived and passed with or without you, and they had the privilege of having you in their life. That is something to celebrate.

The joy I feel when I think of you is real — find motivation in that. I love you.

ThirstenHowl ·

If you don't like alcohol or being drunk, don't feel pressured into imbibing or imbibing too much, or if you do actually want to try just a little bit of something, try something with actual flavor (such as gin, instead of vodka, or something lower in alcohol like wine). But even if your friends are explicitly taking you out for "a drink" you can still just have something that won't intoxicate you, regardless of what they drink and they should be understanding and still just enjoy your company.

And especially if you're still taking a pain killer, depending on what it is, be careful mixing the alcohol with it, but I'm sure with your background you know better than I on this topic.

Maybe both your friends taking you out and your family's party may take your mind off things for a bit, but you're also not obligated to stay any longer than you feel you can take in either instance, since this year doesn't coincide with the best of times for you, so don't feel bad if as things progress you feel like you need to cut it short, if being with people isn't being therapeutic for you. You don't have to do things to make them happy, and even if you can't explain it to them until later, it wouldn't be reasonable for them to not understand. Maybe by next year's birthday things will be markedly different for you and you'll actually feel like you're in a better place, even more akin to being celebratory 🤗

Miram · 31-35, F

@ThirstenHowl

I have to teach kids tomorrow so we will see. If I do get drink, it is going to be chinese drinks. I am not sure how they will taste like, I assume they are mostly wines. And of course they know to keep them gluten free.

One of my friends owns a chinese restaurant and he is treating us to experience his culture.

I have been in situations where I was expected znd pressured to drink. And wanted too, also. But I didn't because I didn't feel safe at all

ThirstenHowl ·

@Miram baiju is a clear spirit that is still on my bucket list to try, I think some of the possible base ingredients are similar to Korean soju or Japanese shochu but I don't know how similar to those it tastes (I love both of those, so if it's like that, then it would be good, to me at least). I assume they probably also have a fermented-only (not distilled) rice wine, but I forget. Some baiju may contain wheat so do be careful, please.

I hope you will enjoy the Chinese restaurant even if you opt to avoid the alcohol this time 🤗 It's not unthinkable that he may have some wines too, grapes like riesling or gewurztraminer can actually go well with Chinese food, so that would definitely be gluten free and less potent than distilled spirits.

And then just oolong tea is great too (had some tonight myself).

MellyMel22 · F

Rum is my choice if I drink(not often).

FreeorLonely · 51-55, F

Happy Birthday! 🥳🎂

Lugwho · 61-69, M

Happy birthdays 🎂 🥳 🎉

lovingdead · 36-40, M

What do you plan on drinking?

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