im so excited for my birthday this year DV TW

since I know for a fact that my abusive ex can't ruin it

every year he literally ruined my birthday when we were together. he either got drunk or beat me up. the last year we were together he came in the house high on coke at like 11 at night with my sons birthday cake screaming, beat me up and threw the cake at me when i was in the bed sleeping.

one year he was cheating on me on my birthday. i didn't find out until months later. another year he stayed out and got drunk with his friends all day and night. every year I was either alone or he beat me up and made me wish i was alone. i stopped getting excited about my birthday. I didn't even want to hear people tell me happy birthday.

this year is different. as my birthday approaches, i feel happier than i have felt in a long time. i have healed a lot mentally, and i am looking forward to my birthday again. 🥺

it's just kind of a crappy feeling to have such a bad taste in your mouth about my birthday because when i was growing up i didn't get birthdays, and i didn't get presents, and i damn sure didn't get birthday parties. we were too poor. only to grow up and be excited for your birthday for a piece of shit, abusive, low life to ruin it year after year.

not this year.

SW-User

I know this isnt the same thing but as an teenager I couldnt enjoy my birthdays fully because of problmes at home and my parents didnt have the money to do Much or just didnt bother but my mum did it for my sisters which was painful. It wasnt until I was 21 my dad tried his best , we was in lockdown but he decorated the living room and got me an custom made pole dancing cake and brought me everything I asked for , that meant the world to me , not the money spent but the fact he actually tried his best. I went to disney world for my 22nd birthday paid out of all my own money but my parents gave me money to spend and it was an lot for them and I really appericated the thought. Im glad you finally get to enjoy your birthdays and I hope you contuine to enjoy them for the rest of your life.

DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F

@SW-User thank you for sharing. i'm sure you understand how alienating it is to feel like you never really got to experience a birthday like everyone else did. so its a nice feeling being able to relate to someone.

my grandmother would bake me a pound cake, whatever cake i wanted. usually, i would choose what she called a "honeybun" cake. its not even about the party or gifts its about feeling like you matter, feeling valid. my grandmother always tried. one year she did give me money to buy whatever i wanted. I think she gave me $50. i bought a few art things because i have always loved art. we didn't have wrapping paper but i wrapped my own gifts with parcel paper and opened them even though i knew what was inside.

I hope you enjoy every one of your birthdays as well. ❤️

SomeMichGuy · M

Wow...you have been through the wringer...multiple times.

I'm so sorry that you had such a tough childhood, and a worse time with a S/O who was so messed up as to screw up your life with assaults which were not "merely" physical.

I can't imagine how the deprivation & violence have affected you, but you told us by sharing your attitude about *your OWN* birthday...so easy to understand because of how you had no positive experiences, no celebration of *you* & *your presence here* with people who cherished you...

May this year mark the first of a very long list of *truly* Happy Birthdays.

im so excited for my birthday this year *DV TW*

im so excited for my birthday this year DV TW