Humour is probably the only and/or the best way I assert my boundaries

because without that I'm way too fxcking 'nice' and I'm not being that person again.

I'd rather be kind over nice. They're not the same thing. Kindness doesn't always feel as good.

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mindstruggle

Humour as a boundary is genius. It’s thoughtful without losing yourself. I think that's something that I lack. I’m just over here being way too nice and hoping it works somehow.

HijabaDabbaDoo · F

@mindstruggle I get it. Its some form of people pleasing, being a neutraliser in a volatile situation and then long term conditioning to continue being too nice. I've had to and still try to unlearn it myself. It's like missing out on genuine mutual connection with others because you're seeing people not as they are but rather the potential of what they can be. It's unnecessary emotional labour to try and control everything around us, namely the reactions from others. The kinda energy that's better consumed to help people that want to be helped. Humour just softens the blow without tarnishing the entire relationship but of course that would vary too on the person.

mindstruggle

@HijabaDabbaDoo
Yea..I get that. I catch myself doing the same, trying to smooth over everything, see the potential in people, and end up doing all this unnecessary emotional labor. Definitely need to learn to save that energy for those who actually want it. Honestly, seeing how you’re unlearning it is kind of inspiring. ❤

CountScrofula · 41-45, M

@mindstruggle

It's like missing out on genuine mutual connection with others because you're seeing people not as they are but rather the potential of what they can be.

BARS. What a beautiful way to put it.

mindstruggle

@CountScrofula
You tag the wrong person lol

Oh nvm, I get it