Hate myself

I hate myself
I am embarrassed easily
I fucking just feel crap today
My stomach hurts
My house needs cleaning
And I have zero will to do anything
All I want is a hug from my mum
Or even one from my dad
Both vacant today

I want to let go of things I have no control over

So the other day something embarrassing happened in front of a friend and the friend has fallen out with me. Even though I apologised. They know me trust me but it was something big.
And even though nobody is hurt and it’s just a misunderstanding I keep reliving the moment. And it causes me physical pain.
I cringe and my stomach hurts
I just want to be over it
And just surround my self with peaceful serene people and things.
Maybe I have to apologise to myself for being so hard on myself
Like why am I so bothered
It’s not like I’m going to die
So
I want to rest today and maybe tomorrow I will pray or something and it may help me let it go.