My new boyfriend and I had decided to go for a country walk with a pub lunch thrown in at some point. I got dressed up carefully so that I'd look nice, but with consideration to the country walk part, and also the fact that it was late winter and quite chilly. I chose a nice smart jumper, worn with my best winter coat (a bit like a parka but nicer material, and a gorgeous dark purple colour). I put my new skinny jeans on, they were jet black, and proper drainpipes! Shoes were a challenge! I wanted to look cute and sassy, but also needed to walk a couple of miles or so! So I selected some flat shoes, in the style of ballet pumps. They were black, with beautiful sparkly bows on the fronts. Because it was cold, I also wore socks, they were thin black ones, with these amazing bright pink contrasting heels and toes. When I had my shoes on, you couldn't see any pink though, they just appeared to be plain black socks, so I hoped they were a subtle way to keep my feet warm and comfortable. I guess the socks with flats debate could rage for ever, but I have always been happy to wear socks as long as they are similar in colour to the shoes. I saw no problem with my smart black socks and shoes combination!
Hopefully you can see that I'd tried hard to look my best and I certainly felt sassy and attractive as we headed off!
We walked for a while, and it was very enjoyable. Conversation flowed and I felt that we were getting on really nicely together. My only nagging fear was that we might be a little bit lost! After a while, with relief, I spotted the pub that we were loosely heading for, in the distance, on the other side of a field. The field didn't really have any kind of path across it, but looked easily passable so we decided to take a short cut, using it. And this was very much the beginning of my problems!
Keen to eat, I strode out in front, enjoying the thought of a hearty lunch. And that's when it happened. Pretty much without warning, the nice easy terrain I was briskly walking on suddenly yielded under my shoes. In the blink of an eye, and accompanied by an incredibly loud squelch, I was up to my knees in the thickest, stickiest, slimiest mud I'd ever seen! I stood there, in shock, still gently sinking! I looked back to my boyfriend and he had that look of concern, blended with an overwhelming desire to laugh his head off! And what followed must've been truly hilarious to witness, I have to concede that! I tried to get myself out, and as I pulled one leg upwards, the other would sink more! I was soon up to my thighs in this unbelievably soft mud! All I could do to stop sinking was kind of "fall" forwards into the mud and wriggle my feet and legs to tease them out, so that I wasn't applying as much downward weight to the problem. Of course, this resulted in me basically rolling in the mud, I'm not joking, I was pretty much laying down in it! You can imagine the effect this had on my well-chosen outfit! Every garment I was wearing had mud on it, I even had some on my face and in my hair! I was rapidly becoming soaked in mud! But I did manage to extract myself eventually, although my problems weren't over because as I pulled my feet upwards I felt the unmistakable sensation of my shoes coming off! The mud was so thick and sticky that I just couldn't stop the shoes staying behind in there! There was no way of keeping them on so I reluctantly let them go with a sigh! I smiled as I caught a glimpse of the bright pink toes and heels of my black (but mostly brown!) socks, just before they too became splattered in the mud. So there I was, on all fours, basically having a mud bath, fully clothed and in my carefully selected smart socks! My sassy black and pink socks! (No longer cute and sassy, now completely covered and soaked in mud!)I'll never forget the feeling of splodging and squelching around in glutinous mud in just my socks, it was so cold and slimy, but weirdly, much easier than having shoes on! Amazingly, I managed to put my arms into the deep holes where my legs had been to retrieve my shoes. They were completely full to the brim with mud, and made loud squelching noises as I put them back on, with lots of mud overflowing out of them! But at least I had them so could carry on walking! I looked very much like I'd selected an outfit from the brown wardrobe! I'd never been so filthy in my life and my boyfriend teased me about it for ages afterwards! Still, it was probably good for my skin!
As early dates go, it was certainly an ice breaker!
