I Am Embarrassed to Show Emotions

I don't know if it's exactly embarrassment, I feel that too, but also fear of exposing myself so much or fear of getting misunderstood (because I can never find the correct words).
It's kinda contradictory that I believe in human communication, because it can only be achieved by expressing our thoughts and emotions, something that I refuse to do.
Someone told me yesterday to just say what's on my mind without caring about what others will think, they might accept it or not but they're the ones responsible for that. He said if they won't accept it I will find a way to deal with it afterwards. I think I might start doing that eventually, to some degree.

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Elegy · 46-50

I'm guessing that you were conditioned to have anxiety about exposure. you won't be able to just change it because it was suggested. :0)

I'm sure it informs many other aspects of your life as well.

HannibalAteMeOut · 22-25, F

@Elegy maybe, I prefer to be private and I don't want people to know everything about me, not even the ones most close to me.

Elegy · 46-50

@HannibalAteMeOut But why? You don't think they would accept you, you shouldn't be known, you aren't worth knowing?

HannibalAteMeOut · 22-25, F

@Elegy none of these, I cannot really define what it is. It's what comes naturally to me, it feels like protecting myself.

Elegy · 46-50

@HannibalAteMeOut But you're not sure what you're protecting yourself from other than the invasive?

HannibalAteMeOut · 22-25, F

@Elegy true

Elegy · 46-50

@HannibalAteMeOut That is where I would start, for me it was fear, fear of even acknowledging myself. It took me like 25 years to figure it out so don't feel too much pressure to figure it out now. 😄

HannibalAteMeOut · 22-25, F

@Elegy yes, I get it. No I don't feel pressure, I just do what feels most right in the moment.