Interesting article about being a child with open-minded about sex and sexuality loving parents

https://openlove101.com/swinger-parents/

Absolutely totally the opposite to my sexual awakening!

I had no sex ed from parents, or school, parents divorced when I was 12 and I was left in the dark to deal with it myself. No interest in sex or women until mid-20's. I'm not neuro-typical so don't do friends and I'm very socially phobic.

Also have had two failed long term relationships and now in my 50's I am fully scared of anything to do with sex, dating, intimacy and relationships. I've never been married and never want to be married. I've had sex less than 3 times a year on average since I became an adult.

Been single 8 years now. I've never experienced any kind of bi/poly/open intimacy. I'm demi- and sapio-sexual and cannot do nsa/ons hookups.

To even try to imagine what it would be like to have had proper loving parents who were not divorced and were open to talking about sex and sexuality when I was growing up seems impossible.

I think about this because my 8 y/o is starting to ask about sex topics and I'm finding I have a massive lack of experience and understanding in that domain to know what to say a lot of the time.

Top | New | Old

This message was deleted by its author.

zonavar68 · 56-60, M

@swirlie Aussie culture is basically based on the UK with a mix these days of lots of other influences, but when I was in primary school in the 1970's sex ed was basically still an educational afterthought in terms of the curriculum.

I have never ever been able to openly talk about sex even with my then-not-ex's.

I agree with what you wrote re my (now deceased) parents - My mum and dad had a very poor relationship and dad had affairs, got drunk, had fights with mum, etc. and neither of them ever bothered to talk about it with me (or my younger sister, who was way more neuro-typical than me). I was too scared to ever ask about the divorce, etc. or try to even raise sex topics, so it got 'boxed' in a way that trying to open that box has become like the ultimate paradox.

Re my kids, my first three are adults. My 8 y/o daughter is my concern re how she'll go with discovering and learning about adult things as she is being brought up with seperated parents who dislike each other (since the relationship got toxic during the pregnancy) basically from when she was 1 y/o.

Sorry I thought people liked the 'gawdamn heart button'? 8-)

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

zonavar68 · 56-60, M

@MethDozer I missed the 'figuring it our during puberty' bus I think. I didn't even understand what sex was until my late teens, then didn't know how to 'do it' until my mid-20's.

MethDozer · M

@zonavar68 the mind boggles. I think i was in 4th or 5th grade by time I had the basic idea down of what bohs and girls do to make a baby and how it worked. Having a family dog might have been what helped me.

zonavar68 · 56-60, M

@MethDozer My 8 y/o knows everything already. Just ask her - she'll tell you. Her mum (my 2nd ex) works as a sexual health nurse so you automatically know she'll be the ultimate authority and I'll be berated because I'm not a female health professional and know nothing. 8-) Her mum always treated me like I was second-class in regard to all 'human knowledge'. One reason she became an ex.

Add a comment...