Where meaning finds you.
I can remember a long time ago the most profound understanding a girl ever had of me was when she commented on how much she knew I needed reassurance. It was true. I would get in my own head about things and I needed her to pull me out. Eventually though things weren’t going well for us and when I reached out for reassurance as I had done so many times before, there was none. She was done with me. So the part of me that needed that kind of love died.
What I’m trying to say is that part of growing up is losing parts of you. Parts that cannot survive in the new environments you’ll be thrust into. Fear is a sign there are things you have yet to lose and therefore ways you have yet to grow. It’s a painful thing, but that doesn’t make it bad. What’s far worse is refusing to make the sacrifice. To stay small so that you must relive the same suffering that made you so little. Over and over again, without end. You will suffer as we all do. The only difference being how much of it you will or won’t let go of.
My unsolicited advice? Don’t hold on. If these things were meant for you, they wouldn’t need your death grip. They’d come all on their own. I get it’s where you find your meaning but… how about where meaning finds you?
What I’m trying to say is that part of growing up is losing parts of you. Parts that cannot survive in the new environments you’ll be thrust into. Fear is a sign there are things you have yet to lose and therefore ways you have yet to grow. It’s a painful thing, but that doesn’t make it bad. What’s far worse is refusing to make the sacrifice. To stay small so that you must relive the same suffering that made you so little. Over and over again, without end. You will suffer as we all do. The only difference being how much of it you will or won’t let go of.
My unsolicited advice? Don’t hold on. If these things were meant for you, they wouldn’t need your death grip. They’d come all on their own. I get it’s where you find your meaning but… how about where meaning finds you?
