I always feel that I need to "deal" with things

But, do I?

What if I just accept that certain things happened, and choose to never think about them again? Afterall, they are not happening anymore

Not right now, or ever. I have built my own life. I am safe.

Is it okay to just appreciate it all no longer a part of my life, stop being angry about it. Push it away when it comes into my head. Stop being a victim.

I don't want to be a victim. It's disgusting.

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BlueVeins · 22-25

Thinking about stuff isn't really an active thing that people choose to do... but obviously, getting to a point where you don't think about it is ideal anyway.

caccoon · 36-40

@BlueVeins true! I guess I should have wrote, "accepting it's okay to stop thinking about it", like push it away when it happens. I have to do this a lot, but with some of the more traumatic stuff I get instant anger or sickening feeling which makes it hard to push away, then I feel like I need to resolve it somehow. But I think it might be okay to just push it away when it happens. By reasoning with myself that it's no longer happening and I am in control now

RuyLopez · 56-60, M

You should find some closure but put it behind so you can fully live in the present and be excited about the future.

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RuyLopez · 56-60, M

@caccoon A good therapist could really help with that. It ultimately is up to you to do the work but they can give you guidance and help you with understanding and dealing with the trauma.

caccoon · 36-40

@RuyLopez I'm in CBT right now, but I am working up to a trauma-based group, and then it was suggested that I also do a one on one afterward

RuyLopez · 56-60, M

@caccoon That’s great. It just take time. And giving yourself the grace to be happy and heal. Understanding it is not just you. Try to find that one thing that gives you focus on something other than the past. Something simple like leaning a new language or a new instrument. Anything you can feel passionate about.

Nebula · 41-45, F

People deal with things in different ways. Sometimes talking about things with someone you trust will help to lessen the burden ❤️

NerdyPotato · M

That seems like a fair way to deal with it honestly. It's not easy to control your thoughts that way though, but if you can do it: great!

Soossie

Pardon me for saying but can turn you into a controlling person …. Controlling can hurt you more than it hurts others…

SW-User

It's not disgusting . Show yourself some kindness . I relate to a lot of what you say.

DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F

Because if you don't deal with it now, it will resurface later.

SW-User

This is a good plan.

MethDozer · M

When you say deal do you mean like take to task or get even for sorta thing?

caccoon · 36-40

@MethDozer nah, more like try to extract and analyse things that have happened, like try to mentally deal with and accept it and find some good in it... but maybe it's better to just accept it's happened and it's done and over with

MethDozer · M

@caccoon ahh I gotcha.

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