Thoughts on mothers and Father's Day being celebrated in elementary classrooms?

At my kid's school, they don't limit it to mothers who can receive these gifts. On mother's day, they make it more about education of women in history, and then will print out sheets for mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers, cousins, older sisters, etc. The students can choose the ones that apply to them without feeling separated or having to ask for a separate sheet. The same is true for Father's Day - people are asked to tell stories about their fathers, uncles, grandfathers, etc, and are then allowed to make a card and crafts for them, as well, without discrimination being implemented as to who such things can be made for.

I work at a school that boards students (boys and girls are both boarded until the age of 9, and after the age of 9 the boys get sent to a boy school and it becomes an all-girls school). Some students were sent there for a better education, some were sent there because their parents are military and travel a lot, but there are also cases where some were sent based on circumstances at home. You have kids who were sent there after a nasty divorce, who were being raised by single parent who couldn't handle them alone. You have some who were sent by rich fathers who they hardly know because the fathers are always traveling for work. Some were even sent to us as an alternative to foster care, because we're considered an inclusive programs school (though there are religious affiliations to the school, so generally that's only religious -based Foster programs that are sending kids our way).

My point is more so that inclusivity is very important, because you never know what someone has going on at home. If a kid has already felt ignored or neglected by a parent, rubbing the fact that they don't have that relationship with the parent isn't going to help anybody. So make it permittable for that kid to be able to create a mother or Father's Day gift for any man or woman in their life that they feel helps them. Maybe that's a mother, grandmother, or aunt. Maybe it's a lunch monitor, or a teacher. Don't put a limit on who it could be for. Turn mother's day into a celebration of women in their lives and turn fathers Day into a celebration of men in their lives.

"Women are pretty cool. Let's make gifts for the women we love in our lives."
-Basically my school lol

I think it's important to be inclusive and respectful. Some kids do feel hurt or get bullied if they don't have a mom and/or dad present in their life, and feel like they are missing something while another person is celebrating, or they feel it doesn't apply to them and they feel awkward and don't know what to do, much less speak out. For some people it's a reminder of their broken family, one kid I knew always felt triggered by mother's day and father's day and grandparent's day and by parked police cars, because it reminded him of family...and of the day he was separated from his siblings and mom.

Most schools I know simply have "Family day" or "Caring day", or a men's day or women's day. It can be an opportunity to read a story about all kinds of families, or about women or men in history and events, and encourage kids to share stories or memories about anybody in their family or of friends or people they are inspired by or is important to them if they wish.

Sometimes the topic of race, death, prison, and deportation, grandparents, foster parents, adoption, abuse, and other things come up that you'll have to navigate as well. Families come in different combinations. Families are diverse. but what matters is that the kids are cared for and loved. I think it's espeically important to be aware and respect and support those kids who are reluctant, hurt, or shy to let others know their family is different in someway from someone elses...and encourage them to be proud of what they love about their family and talk about them. The more everyone hears about different kinds of families, the more inclusive we’ll become.

Some time an art project will be something they make for anyone...could be an important or special friend, doctor, teacher, brother or sister, parent, guardian, grandparent, uncle, cousin, anybody. It's never wrong to show love to people special to us. I know a kid who made a project for the nurse at the hospital where his dad was for mother's day once. I told him it was a brilliant idea!

ffs, somebody's always going to be offended no matter what

Every human on Earth has a mother and a father. Now, whether or not those people are raising them or doing a good job at it is a different thing. Celebrating in the classroom? Meh, I figure there are much more important things those teachers can be doing with their students. Leave the family, religious (or not) and moral education to the kids' families.

My children are all previous foster children who we adopted. This was always a massive trauma trigger for us so I used to have a quiet word with the teacher and ask that instead of making it just about mother's or fathers she mentioned that it was for all those people who are for us, including foster, adoptive, step, kinship or anyone else and definitely never single the kids out as being adopted or fostered.

In short, too much tinkering going on at present. What next? Getting rid of Women's Day as such too?

Perhaps a problem with our society is the fact we've developed a need to deny people ARE different, live in different circumstances, have different experiences and expectations? Maybe teaching children that EVERYTHING will apply to them is not a good thing? I'm not sure, but perhaps dealing with the vicissitudes of life is a good experience? I don't know the answer, but I wonder.

No one is born (yet) without a mother having given birth to them.
If a person has no mother in their life now,
they can still celebrate the fact that that woman gave them the gift of life.
Same can apply to a father.
Although not every kid is happy to be alive; I wasn't.

It is harder if a parent is profoundly dysfunctional or abusive.

Maybe it's not such a good idea to bring Mothers and Fathers days into the classroom - at least in the commercial sense.
It would be possible to have a general discussion of all the different kinds of families, each kid sharing what their family is like (with no judgements), but not around the designated commercial dates.

My kid’s schools encourage the kids to make a gift for someone special in their life who’s made a big difference.

I hear what you’re saying about the inclusivity. My kiddo doesn’t have their biological father in their life. It’s always a tough topic. At the same time, I don’t think the answer to creating inclusivity should be the elimination of everything somebody in the room might not relate to or have a hard time with. It sucks the color out of life.
If anything, we should be celebrating the variety to life more.

I would say kids this child lost her mother so who ever wants to join her in making fun decorations🙃

Maybe there was another person who looked after that student. A grandmother, aunt, foster mom.

In my case my kid will have 2 mothers.

Every student has or had a mother. Basic biology.

We ARE all different.

I am all for it

I say if a kid has only one parent, they should honor that parent on both holidays.